Things To Consider Before Deciding To Become A Military Girlfriend

 

Michelle L. Kelly, Ph.D. writes a story about a woman who married a military man. “Staying in touch was hard, but they communicated via old-fashioned letters and packages,” she said. “She feels fortunate though because she had her own career goals. Her advice for young women and men dating military members is simple. Stay focused on your own goals.”

There are certain things in a relationship with a military man that is not found in any ordinary romantic relationships. Many girls have strong attractions to men in uniform, especially those in a military uniform. “Women prefer a partner who can protect them. It has been so since ancient times,” Dr. Geetanjali Sharma, a marriage and relationship counselor, was quoted as saying in the Times article. “It can be assumed that men in uniform are the modern-day ‘saviors’ and hence the attraction.” They tend to rush the dating process and look forward to marrying the man. Dating someone in the military is not a happily ever type of love story. In reality, these types of relationships break up a few months later because they don’t realize the challenge of work that both of them must endure staying together. 

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If a girl considers committing to a romantic relationship with a military man, there are several things that she must put in mind.

Their Job Is Their Priority

It is nothing personal because they must defend the country against many threats to the best of what they can do. Sometimes they will not be that informative of where they will go to their girlfriends must be patient enough in considering the nature of their work. Girls cannot expect to gain full attention and affection from their boyfriends and do not have the right to make them feel guilty about it.

No Communication For Most Of The Time

Every one of them will have to undergo at least Basic Training so there will be long periods that girls cannot interact with them. It requires more or less ten straight weeks that they are not allowed to have outside communication while they are in training. Phone calls may not always be the right means of interaction with their girlfriends, but they can write letters if they have free time. But for those having higher ranks, they have more privileges that include communicating with their loved ones compared to those in the lower positions.

Girls Will Feel Anxious And Stressful

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It is quite common especially if their boyfriends are deployed in an area where there is war. Girlfriends might receive calls that have bombs and guns in the background. What kind of girl will not freak out in this kind of situation? And as Jennifer Wider, M.D. told Women’s Health, “Stress can wreak havoc on a person’s body.” As much as possible, communication takes place when they are in the base or during a ceasefire. This way, they do not pose any anxiety to their girlfriends. During an encounter, they will not contact their girlfriends for weeks or months that will make the girls very anxious if there are boyfriends who are still alive.

Both May Plan To Get Married Soon

Because there are so many uncertainties that surround the nature of military jobs, they can find themselves making grown-up decisions faster than “ordinary couples.” Moving in, getting married and having kids might be the common topics among relationships involving military men. 

Traditions Are Not Observed

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Anniversaries, birthdays and other important life events are seldom celebrated in their relationships. So it is crucial for the girls to understand that their boyfriends might not be around in times that they must be present.

Girls May Be Judged Being Naïve Or Crazy

Other people may think that girls having a romantic relationship with military men are loony for getting into this world. They might ask “Why him if there are plenty of other boys around you?” Girls must acknowledge their opinion, but girlfriends must always remember that they are dating the man, not the uniform.

 

 

 

Fight Off Expectations In Relationships With Appreciation

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It all started with long night phone conversations, the hourly update on each other and were inseparable most of the time. Just like any romantic relationship, this is how ours started. It was all pure bliss and excitement. Everything seems to be okay. We feel nothing but love for each other, and everything in-between becomes indefinable. As long as what matters most was our happiness. It’s true what Meredith Hansen, PsyD wrote – “Healthy adult love exists when both partners are emotionally interdependent; meaning that both partners love one another, care for one another, desire physical closeness with one another, but respect each other enough to have their own identities as well.”

That time, everything was ideal- from celebrating important occasions to going on a movie date, attending Sunday Church and visiting families. Indeed, it was a perfect match made in heaven.

However, life has its way of testing the waters. What seems to be an ideal relationship became the opposite of everything. As our relationship went on, things have changed gradually. The world that we made exclusively for each other slowly fell apart; until one day we realized that we were already living life out of that world and could no longer recognize each other as to how we were before. That time, we decided to let go of each other so as not to cause further pain and frustrations.

“As much as a new love can pare bad habits, it might cut away some good qualities, too. New research suggests that sometimes being in a romantic partnership means losing favorable aspects of the self.” – Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D.

Time Heals And Teaches

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Three years in a relationship have come a long way for me to realize everything, at first it was all regret consuming my entire being – asking myself why it has to end, why beautiful things never last. Acceptance and moving on were tough battles, but I had to hold myself together for I can no longer afford to feel broken again. I am grateful for the gift of time for it has allowed me to accept the truth, feel the pain and pick up myself again, the time has healed me. I experienced the emotional torture day by day until the remorse I have been nurturing for entirely some time has turned into a realization of what has transpired from my failed relationship.

It was the expectations that ruined our relationship, i.e., expecting things would never change and hoping more of what is given in the relationship such as time. Unmet expectations heated up frustrations that led to constant misunderstandings, which eventually ended the relationship.

If only…..

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It was too late to recognize that, if only I appreciated his efforts of making time for me out of his busy schedule, maybe I would not have demanded more of his time. If only I have come to appreciate myself with all the care and love I have given him, maybe I would not see myself inadequate and incapable of loving him. Lastly, if we only tried to appreciate everything in our relationship especially on how much we decided to save our relationship, maybe we could have salvaged it. However, we were both consumed by our expectations with each other that it made us hard to appreciate both our efforts as we try to fight for our relationship, we end up fighting against each other. I know it was too late now; nonetheless, I am still thankful that I have come to realize what went wrong with my past relationship, for this will be the lesson I am bringing as long as I live.

Moreover, if fate permits that I may find myself falling in love again, at least I have now in me the key to having a lasting relationship, and that is appreciation. Because appreciation teaches us to become satisfied with what is given to us. Appreciating your partner’s effort to fetch you despite arriving late is better instead of ranting over why he was late. “Appreciation matters. Those who express appreciation with their partner are more committed to them and more likely to stay in the relationship,” says Ryan M. Niemiec PsyD. 

Feeling thankful for a quick lunch out because of a tight schedule rather than not having lunch together. These are just some of the little things that when appreciated will make each other see the efforts being made for the relationship. Expectations will fade away when appreciation glues the relationship.

Reward Yourself With Appreciation

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“Let’s begin by clearing up something: Self-respect does not make you narcissistic or conceited or self-centered … in fact, it does quite the opposite. Self-respect is about amassing a deep sense of self-worth and self-love to show that you are worthy of receiving love and in turn, giving love.” – Danielle Dowling, PsyD. 

Since we were young, our parents taught us the value and importance of being grateful in life especially to the people who have been good to us. We learned that by being grateful, we become benevolent as well, for we know that in every appreciation we give, comes the feeling of happiness and fulfillment not just on the person we thank for but also to ourselves. We got used to appreciating every little thing in life regardless of how well or bad it is because we know that, everything happens for a reason and that we should still show kindness during adversities. Learning the importance of gratitude has helped us to embrace and live up its value; hence, we become grateful for everything, always. 

On the other hand, despite the fact of being grateful for everything that we have, we sometimes forget to appreciate one important person to be thankful for, and that is our self. We have the innate selflessness that enables us to put others’ well-being first, that is why with all the appreciation that we have for other people, we fail to appreciate our self. 

Start Within Yourself

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Most of us see gratitude as something to be shared with others, except for our self, because we think that appreciating one’s self is already arrogant. Give yourself a short break for a while and try to be grateful for what you have become. Examine within yourself that you are thankful for the person that you came to be so that you can be a blessing to others as well. This way, you know your worth thus giving yourself importance. Be narcissistic for a while. You must remember that gratitude starts with you; hence you deserve to appreciate yourself for choosing and doing what is right.

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. says, “Self-value is more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value, including yourself than how you feel about yourself compared to others. It necessarily includes self-care.”

What Should You Thank Yourself For?

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It is easy for us to recognize the things and people we are grateful for while we unnoticed the things we should thank our self for, like appreciating yourself for:

  • Being thankful for everything
  • Keeping up the faith amidst life’s adversities
  • Returning kindness over cruelty
  • Courage to let go
  • Believing in love despite the pain
  • Giving second chances
  • Accepting things that are not meant for you
  • Forgiving others and yourself
  • Recognizing your mistakes

Just like how we appreciate and admire other people on how they overcome the challenges in their lives, we should also do the same to ourselves.  “Acknowledging and expressing genuine gratitude for what you appreciate in your life is a deeply kind act,” says psychotherapist Lea Seigen Shinraku. When you know how to appreciate yourself, you begin to discover your strengths and weaknesses, and this would help you improve yourself into becoming a better person. Self-appreciation is a way of recognizing self-worth, which enables you to realize that you are a human of substance, worthy to be loved and respected. 

Your relationship with yourself is as significant as your character. As they say, you cannot give what you do not have. You cannot learn to appreciate others if you do not know how to thank yourself. Do not be too hard on yourself, give yourself the reward that you deserve. Remember you are doing your very best to be the best version of yourself and that is already an achievement. Reward yourself with appreciation, celebrate your pain and triumphs and rejoice for better days to come. 

 

 

Gratitude Can Bring Out the Best in Your Child

Becoming a parent is a privilege because not everyone can experience the joy and happiness of raising a child from becoming a better person. A source of pride, it is as well the most demanding and challenging responsibility that one can have. It takes courage and commitment to embrace the life of becoming a parent regardless of its nature. Living with this challenge is the part on how to raise children with positive values and the right attitude. “We want our children to be able to relate to other people’s feelings and to feel a sense of belonging in their classrooms and community,” says clinical psychologist Sheela Raja. “Cultivating a sense of gratefulness goes a long way toward this goal.”

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Parents are expected to give out your best just to make sure that children will have a secure and successful life ahead. The society sees a child as a mere reflection of the kind of parents that a child has. Even if it’s not the main reason for the outcome of the child in later life, the role of the parents still has a significant factor. With this, your worth as a parent is determined on how you were able to rear your children of becoming who and what they are in life. 

When And How To Start?

Start Them Young.  The child’s brain is like a sponge. It absorbs everything that it encounters. By training them with good habits, they will embrace it and will eventually become a lifelong habit. Coupled with role modeling, this will be easy for them to follow the actions that they observe around them. Grab this opportunity to teach them the right skills in surviving life and to engage their young minds the value of gratitude. Giacomo Bono, Ph.D. wrote, “When parents tune into an infant’s needs and curiosities and satisfy the infant patiently with love, they’re planting the seeds for gratitude to grow.”

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Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude. The sincerest thought comes from a child. It is like whatever a child has to say, it becomes heartfelt as always, because of the pureness of their heart. 

What one of the first things parents commonly teach their child is praying, and through this, parents start to teach their child to give thanks to the Heavenly Father. The phrase “thank you” is one of the sweetest phrases we could hear from a child. It brings a smile to our faces when they utter this two-word statement, and our heart swells with happiness. 

Teaching and showing your child what it means to say, “thank you” allows practicing gratefulness at an early age. This way, as the child grows up, he can show appreciation, not just with the material things but moreover the simple gestures and favors he gets from the people around him. In return, he will realize that showing gratitude makes people happy, a rewarding feeling for doing something right to others. According to Sarah Conway, a psychologist and mom, “The absolute best way to teach kids to be grateful, is to BE GRATEFUL. They will take their cues from you. So thank them often.”

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With constant practice, the child will become accustomed to the importance of gratitude, the effect it brings to the people and the enthusiasm it gives into becoming a better version of oneself. Parenting is one tough job, but by embracing and appreciating the privilege it entails, you will never find any reason to quit. Instead, it will make you a better person, someone whom your child can look up to and be thankful because you have dedicated your life to bring them up with good hearts.

Sharing Appreciation Online: A Different Way Of Counseling

Man, by nature is good. This philosophical view reminds us that no matter how bad a person is, there is still goodness that resides within, it only needs to be triggered so that it will rise against the negative emotions. Everything is a matter of how we perceive life in general. Most of the time, a person who has a negative perception of life is consumed by hatred and dissatisfaction, and these negative attributes are the results of ungratefulness. Most of the time, it is hard to get into the core of someone who is filled with negativity, thus as much as we want to help, it would be hard for someone to accept verbal counseling. Nevertheless, there are still different ways of making someone realize his attitudes, one of which is sharing personal experiences about appreciation and will enable that person to achieve some crucial points in life.

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The Attitude Of Gratitude

Positive psychology proposes that the attitude of gratefulness is one of the ways in attaining happiness in life. The premise of showing gratitude in everything we have makes us happy is indeed a proven fact. Cultivating appreciation in our hearts and keeping it as part of our routine diminishes the negativity that we may encounter along the way. Dr. Jo Wolthusen, PsyD wrote, “Someone who is living a life full of gratitude appears to be having the radiating happiness that can be contagious.”

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Sharing Is Caring

Happiness can be contagious, so is gratefulness. A person with a grateful heart knows the value of sharing promotes happiness as well. Also, a grateful person is very eager to share with the world how gratefulness can help us in finding joy and contentment in life. Dan Mager, MSW, agrees, stating that “grateful people are generally more helpful, generous of spirit, and compassionate. These qualities often spill over onto others.”

If you are an appreciative person, you would only wish that everyone can realize the value of showing appreciation is the key to becoming satisfied with whatever we have.

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Finding ways to share how gratitude changed our lives is now easily brought about by the wonders of digital technology and the internet. We have now the ability to broadcast the many blessing we receive and the good things that are happening in our lives online. Through social media platforms, we can post daily affirmations and share with other people who follow us our experiences. By doing so, we become instruments of change as we can influence others who have forgotten to cultivate appreciation in their lives which makes them unhappy and contributes to their dissatisfaction.

Also, we become a virtual counsel for those who are having a hard time accepting the principle behind gratefulness equals happiness. This is the perfect way of exchanging experiences in life that have taught us to become better. Stories of appreciation found online are a good source of healing from bitterness and negativity in life. 

Final Words

For people who are still holding on to their pride that they do not want to open personally, reading stories of gratefulness online enables them to let go of their arrogance and embrace the reality that behind their failures is the ungratefulness they have been keeping since then. Only then, they will experience pure bliss because there is no more harmful attitude that is holding them back. 

“Gratitude, in the most basic terms, is being thankful and appreciative of the good things you have,” says Sheela Raja, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in the Colleges of Medicine and Dentistry at the University of Illinois at Chicago. 

Helping others through our little ways is already a product of gratitude because a grateful heart is also a cheerful supporter and sincere giver. If only all of us will learn to live with appreciation and celebrate the victories and failures in life, then none of them will believe life has punished them because of the challenges they are having.    

 

 

 

Want To Be Happy? Practice Thank You Therapy

Have you experienced opening the door to someone and not receiving a mere “thank you”? Or helping someone carry their load yet no “thank you” was given? That’s the worst thing that can ever happen to your day. It’s just frustrating that some people don’t value gratitude anymore.

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Sonja Lyubomirsky Ph.D. says, “The lack of interest on gratitude or kindness is one of the reasons that these practices are so powerful in creating positive emotions and making people more satisfied with their lives.”

One of the ways of becoming happy is to practice the attitude of gratitude. By becoming thankful for all the things coming through, be it something right or not, we still should show appreciation because everything has its reason and purpose in our life bound to make us wiser and tougher as we continue to exist.

A thankful heart creates a definite aura of life. It radiates happiness and contentment to others as well. Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D. wrote, “Feeling and expressing gratitude turns our mental focus to the positive, which compensates for our brain’s natural tendency to focus on threats, worries, and negative aspects of life. As such, gratitude creates positive emotions, like joy, love, and contentment, which research shows can undo the grip of negative emotions like anxiety.”

However, some people think that the only things that we should be thankful for are the right things coming to us. The truth is, more than being disappointed with the mishaps of life, we should be grateful for these, too, because these are the life lessons and experiential learnings that can make us a better person.

Being Grateful

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Gratitude is the therapy of the human soul, a potion that can turn a bad day into a blissful one. If only all of us can learn to add the phrase “thank you” in all our triumphs and tribulations, then there would never be any reason for us to see life as challenging as it can be. The virtue of gratitude teaches us to see more than meets the eye; it is like seeing the beauty of a person despite his flaws and incapacities.

The Science of Gratitude

In positive psychology, the effect of expressing gratitude shows a tremendous change in the context of finding genuine happiness in life. For people who find it hard to see the goodness in everything, the therapeutic effect of saying “Thank you” is an excellent way of training the mind not to take things hard. As what others say, 10% of what is happening in our life is beyond our control, and 90% depends on how we take things and react to it. This means that we are in control of our reactions, and often we tend to be in a fury over 90% of what has transpired. 

In this case, “Thank you Therapy” might just save your day and spare you from having a bad day. Imposing this positive attitude is like spreading happiness all throughout. This attitude does not only provide benefits to the person doing it but instead, it also makes the other person happy. This is useful conditioning for those who have sensory issues.

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Final Words

Practicing gratitude enables us to see the rainbow in every storm. It lets us value everything in life, even the problems coming our way. Instead of worrying, we take every challenge as an opportunity to become better. These are two simple words that carry significant meaning. If practiced every day, it can emanate a positive vibe to each one, thus changing our perception.

“Instead, shift your focus and be mindful of the everyday things that you would miss if you didn’t have them. There’s always something for which to be grateful, even during difficult times.” – Cherie Dortch, clinical psychologist. 

Saying “thank you” can be an antidote for the lack of appreciation shown by others. The key to finding happiness through gratitude and contentment on whatever life may bring us can change each new day with optimism and positivity.   

Living With An Ungrateful Heart: Seeking Psychiatric Help

Some people experience negativity in life where they feel that all the forces in the world are against them. All of us have gone through some point in our life wherein we feel like nothing good is happening or ever going to happen. This can be a phase that we are having especially if things don’t go as we like it to be – a failed exam, a breakup, loss in business prospects, or even a death of a loved one. As human as we are, we tend to bounce back and face the music. We like to meet the battle and conquer whatever struggles we are currently in. Nonetheless, some individuals cannot afford to handle these tragic situations, and they would resort to feelings of indifference, hopelessness, and helplessness.

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Dissatisfaction Leads to Unhappiness 

Imagine waking up every day feeling upset and thinking that the world is being unfair to you.  This is the life of unhappy individuals. They feel like the world has given up on them and that they could no longer have the things they want, without noticing or appreciating the things that are already there. Psychologist Ryan Howes says, “Maybe the reason you feel so hopeless isn’t rooted in reality, but instead in a false narrative about your abilities or circumstances. Maybe you tell yourself that you don’t really deserve a raise or loving friends. Maybe you tell yourself that you’re not that smart or creative or capable.”

There is no satisfaction at all, as they keep on asking for the things they lack in life.  All these adverse predicaments engulf their positive outlook on life – always complaining about certain aspects.

Aside from dissatisfaction, these people also nurture feelings of ingratitude. Living a life of ingratitude hampers one from seeing the goodness in life; it limits the capacity of the heart to appreciate anything at all.  As a result, they find it hard within themselves to feel inner happiness and satisfaction in life.

Psychiatric Counseling Can Help

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It is not healthy for a person to continue living with this kind of outlook in life. Depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders can happen if the same emotional conflict is felt all throughout. And as Deborah Serani, PsyD says, “Depression is not a weakness of character, laziness, or a phase. Tough love, like telling someone to ‘buck up’ or ‘try harder,’ doesn’t work, and worsens the illness. Depression is a disorder that develops from environmental and biological issues that are unique to each person.”
Relationship with family, friends, and work can be affected as well as the person becomes distant, aggressive and belligerent in his dealings. It can alter one’s cognitive functioning as well which might lead to involving in an unfavorable situation that can compromise one’s safety.

One way to seek help is to consult a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist to help determine the reasons for dissatisfaction, ingratitude, pessimism, and depression. Once known, the person is guided to undergo psychotherapy to help change his perspectives on life. Depending on the psychiatric evaluation, the person shall be given some medications to help regulate chemicals in the brain and control the emotional turmoil felt within. Similarly, they may allow you to get online counseling (try BetterHelp) in the beginning.

On a personal level, the change must come from within the person himself. The only way of overcoming this is a mighty change of heart, together with the assistance and support of family and friends. Their perception of life will gradually change as they start to see the goodness in life. The counsel and support that they receive from the people around them are vital in opposing the negativity that is influencing their mind and heart on not to appreciate what life has given them.

Final Words

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Yes, it is true that many people recover from depression without taking medication. But that doesn’t mean that willpower alone is what got them there. Major depression, or clinical depression, is a problem with the neurochemistry of our brain not properly regulating our moods, and just willing yourself to feel better isn’t going to cut it,” explains Becky Howie, MA, LPC.

Counseling per se is an excellent way of making us realize that when ungratefulness consumes us, seeking advice or merely opening up about all the frustrations and challenges in life with someone we trust can help us appreciate the attitude of becoming grateful in life. 

How Can A Club Function As A Support Group?

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“School” is the most important place for children, a place where they find out about themselves and their world, where they meet and learn from each other and from teachers, a place where they prepare themselves for the future.” – John Victor, Senior Clinical Psychologist. 

High school is challenging for almost every student. They are constantly exposed to external stimuli that are either too challenging or too big to be overcome. These are times when students are tempted to try things but often don’t either because of peer pressure or because of a lack of confidence. One such experiment is taking part in school clubs. For such students, it is always better to take part in a club. A lot of studies have shown that this group of people tends to become a support group when supposed strangers chat and talk about life on a daily basis.

It becomes easier to get through difficult times when you know that you aren’t the only one in this. Several issues such as depression and anxiety are common but students refrain from visiting an expert because mental illness is seen as a stigma in society.  “Just like any other symptom, said Amresh Shrivastava, MD, “when the stigma is left untreated it can cause serious damage to the brain, and even to the patient’s life. Relapse is more susceptible in patients with untreated stigma, and risk of suicide is increased.”

If you are a student and you feel that you need someone to talk to, the best option is to join a school club. If you are a club member or president and you are looking for ways to start functioning as a support group as well, then this is how you can function as both:

  • Be Clear and Precise
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Let your club members know that you are planning to start a support group. Run the idea through them and give them a plan of action. Once everyone is on board, proceed with the flyers and specify the kind of support group you plan on conducting. For instance, if your support group is for people battling depression, then state it clearly. Once people start flowing in explain to them what a support group means and how it functions. 

  • Pick A Place

Pick a common spot and don’t change it. School spaces are ideal; you can schedule the meetings after school in a specific classroom. The idea is to pick a location that is easily accessible by all and free every time for a meeting. The problem with choosing a member’s home or yours is that the place might not be available all the time. 

  • Schedule 
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Schedule your meetings in a manner that suits everyone. You can schedule your meetings once a week at a specific time for an hour. One hour is the ideal duration for a support group meeting. Make sure you start and end on time so people take it seriously and the decorum is maintained. It doesn’t matter if people come in late or leave early; you should always start your meetings as per schedule. 

  • Talk to your Therapist

It is important that you encourage the group members to visit a therapist and talk to someone about their routines and how well they are doing. Get some ideas from them as they are professionals and know better.  Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. wrote, “Therapy can help you ease your pain and create a healthier and more fulfilling life.”

  • Keep an Anonymous Box 
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Most people don’t do this but since it is a school support group, it is important that you leave a box for people to talk and express themselves anonymously. This is bound to encourage them to one day talk about their feelings openly once they see how well their anonymous emotions are being received by the other members of the group. 

  • Refreshments

Ask your group members to take turns and provide for light refreshments. As this support group is for students, you can always pool in for the refreshments. 

  • Create an Electronic Group

Make sure that everyone stays connected even if they aren’t at the meeting. Make a WhatsApp or Email group and involve everyone in it. This enables people to stay in touch even if no meeting is scheduled. They feel comfortable knowing they can always reach out whenever the need arises. 

  • Leader

It is important that you assign a support group leader; this allows the group to function better and hold up the dynamics well. 

Sharing stories can be a little intimidating so it is important that you hire a certified therapist to attend the meetings for training and monitoring purposes. Sometimes, in case something is triggered in a member, control is imperative. 

 

 

Why We Have Our Therapists To Thank For Our Well-Being

Whether helping the people in need is part of their self-actualization goals, or they want that particular career path, being a therapist isn’t exactly for everyone. It’s in our nature as humans to have a hard time coping with our feelings and solving our behavior problems. It’s hard, but a therapist does that for a living!

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Do you think you could do their work – to be on the other end of when a person is seeking help? What if you give the wrong advice? What if your words won’t make them better? Helping people to change for the better can be a burden on someone, and it takes an extraordinary person to do that. “While some therapists do specialize in severe emotional disturbances—including schizophrenia or suicidal thoughts—many focus on simply helping clients work through far more typical, everyday challenges like mapping out a career change, improving parenting skills, strengthening stress management skills, or navigating a divorce,” says Suzanne Gelb Ph.D.

Therapists are awesome! Here’s why we have them to thank for our well-being:

They Help Us To Become Brave And Honest

Therapy may not be appealing to other people. But even if it’s quite intimidating, and scary at times, having a meaningful takeaway after every session is an understatement. Therapists don’t always share their personal experiences. However, they surely understand your feelings and do their best to make sure you feel better. They listen with their hearts, as you pour out your thoughts and feelings to them. ” Listening and empathy skills are the hallmarks of good communicators, leaders, and therapists,” wrote Diana Raab Ph.D. A simple ‘Thank You’ letter after a fact of therapy is always welcome.

They Help Us Deal With Our Strong Feelings

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Some people need guidance in dealing with somewhat difficult feelings. Sally High, LMHC, says, “I help my clients overcome issues keeping them caught in unhealthy and destructive patterns that no longer serve a purpose. I am eager to help you and feel honored to assist in this journey. There are good therapist and then there are transforming therapist.”

For example, there are those teenagers who feel very shy or uncomfortable at school. Maybe it’s the transition from a different school to another, but the shyness gets in the way of making friends. A therapist helps by giving advice and encouraging you to act on your problem using the right direction. In some major cases, a patient may be feeling dangerous pent-up anger for a family member, or friend, and is getting aggressive and violent. Therapists help calm down and make the patient see reason. They acknowledge the difficult emotions and teach you positive ways to react. Again, not an easy feat.

They Help Us Enjoy Life More

When someone is busy, stressed, and depressed – that person seems to have the weight of the world on his or her shoulders. Therapists remind and encourage you to look for the positive things in life when you can’t see it. They point in the direction of where you should go and explain how it can make life worthwhile.

They Teach You That It’s Okay To Ask Help

One of the many myths of therapy is that “it doesn’t work.” In fact, some people think it’s a waste of time and money. You can read books and many online articles, keep the problems to your own, or try and solve them. It will be hard. Some people feel as if they can take on everything when they can ask for help. Professionally certified therapists are experts in how humans process thoughts and emotions. They’re often your “mind coach.”

They Strive To Make Your Future Bright

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There’s a common misconception that going to therapy means it would need to go on forever. That’s false. Therapy is temporary, but its effects are what’s long-lasting. Therapists help you work your stuff while teaching you the tools on how you could handle future “incidents.” The positive gains “continue and grow over time” as some of the work gets further consolidated after taking therapy.

 

 

 

Great Clubs That Your Kids And Teens Can Join

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When your kids get into preschool, they are more engrossed in play rather than learn, which is generally okay, since the first three years are designed to encourage kids to learn to play in groups and with different types of children. When they enter middle school they begin to tackle school and friends, and most often than not, they prefer talking and doing things with friends than study and learn. 

If you notice that your kids tend to be more passive towards their school work, encourage them to join something that will not only help hasten to learn but also enlighten them to do more activities that are geared towards the development, growth, and progress of the youth. School and community clubs are some of the best avenues for your kids to join. This will expose them to practices that will help them practice their social and leadership skills as well. 

Check out some of these recommended clubs that you can consider if you want your kid to join one.

Types of Clubs and What They Do

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Book club. One of the most educational and enriching clubs that you would love your kids to join. There are activities that are designed to keep the kids and teens interested, such as group reading time and role-playing time, where they choose a book and perform it, assigning kids different roles. They can also be classified into groups and help each other read a more advanced book. This practices reading as well as team building skills. 

Career Club. Teens as early as 13 to 16 years old can join this group. Its aim is to help the children decide the career or vocation that they want to pursue. They are led by a teacher or an elder who discusses with them different careers that they can follow, and then the children are asked to talk about the career they’ve chosen and why. This way, they will learn how to decide at an early age which path they want to lead. Joining career clubs encourage children to appreciate their strengths and develop their weaknesses. 

Sports and Recreation Club. The United States has created several of these clubs that encompass teaching children positive eating habits and physical activities that develop their mind, body, and soul. They have sessions where they are taught how to prepare meals that are healthy and nutritious. They also engage in physical fitness and games that help them get moving and practice teamwork and friendly competition. Kids are also taught the value of cooperation and cultivate interpersonal and social skills. The Boys and Girls Clubs of America has created a number of sports and recreation clubs for kids of all ages. Some of these clubs are the Triple Play, Play Ball, and All-Stars. 

Childhood Bereavement Club. This club is not only for those who have lost their loved ones but also those who want to help and reach out to those who need comfort in their time of grief. Kids and teens need to develop a strong mental and emotional foundation to get through their feelings of grief, sadness, and depression. They may have anger problems that need to be attended to. Adult leaders guide these kids and teach them how to cope with these challenges. For teens that are initially hesitant to express, they are encouraged to read online blogs and articles that may push them to learn coping strategies.

 

Encouraging Kids and Teens to Learn Early

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These and many other clubs are available for kids and teens that are in the stage of curiosity and independence. Clubs are a great way to pull your children towards the right direction and keep them away from the possible dangers of growing up.