Things To Consider Before Deciding To Become A Military Girlfriend

 

Michelle L. Kelly, Ph.D. writes a story about a woman who married a military man. “Staying in touch was hard, but they communicated via old-fashioned letters and packages,” she said. “She feels fortunate though because she had her own career goals. Her advice for young women and men dating military members is simple. Stay focused on your own goals.”

There are certain things in a relationship with a military man that is not found in any ordinary romantic relationships. Many girls have strong attractions to men in uniform, especially those in a military uniform. “Women prefer a partner who can protect them. It has been so since ancient times,” Dr. Geetanjali Sharma, a marriage and relationship counselor, was quoted as saying in the Times article. “It can be assumed that men in uniform are the modern-day ‘saviors’ and hence the attraction.” They tend to rush the dating process and look forward to marrying the man. Dating someone in the military is not a happily ever type of love story. In reality, these types of relationships break up a few months later because they don’t realize the challenge of work that both of them must endure staying together. 

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If a girl considers committing to a romantic relationship with a military man, there are several things that she must put in mind.

Their Job Is Their Priority

It is nothing personal because they must defend the country against many threats to the best of what they can do. Sometimes they will not be that informative of where they will go to their girlfriends must be patient enough in considering the nature of their work. Girls cannot expect to gain full attention and affection from their boyfriends and do not have the right to make them feel guilty about it.

No Communication For Most Of The Time

Every one of them will have to undergo at least Basic Training so there will be long periods that girls cannot interact with them. It requires more or less ten straight weeks that they are not allowed to have outside communication while they are in training. Phone calls may not always be the right means of interaction with their girlfriends, but they can write letters if they have free time. But for those having higher ranks, they have more privileges that include communicating with their loved ones compared to those in the lower positions.

Girls Will Feel Anxious And Stressful

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It is quite common especially if their boyfriends are deployed in an area where there is war. Girlfriends might receive calls that have bombs and guns in the background. What kind of girl will not freak out in this kind of situation? And as Jennifer Wider, M.D. told Women’s Health, “Stress can wreak havoc on a person’s body.” As much as possible, communication takes place when they are in the base or during a ceasefire. This way, they do not pose any anxiety to their girlfriends. During an encounter, they will not contact their girlfriends for weeks or months that will make the girls very anxious if there are boyfriends who are still alive.

Both May Plan To Get Married Soon

Because there are so many uncertainties that surround the nature of military jobs, they can find themselves making grown-up decisions faster than “ordinary couples.” Moving in, getting married and having kids might be the common topics among relationships involving military men. 

Traditions Are Not Observed

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Anniversaries, birthdays and other important life events are seldom celebrated in their relationships. So it is crucial for the girls to understand that their boyfriends might not be around in times that they must be present.

Girls May Be Judged Being Naïve Or Crazy

Other people may think that girls having a romantic relationship with military men are loony for getting into this world. They might ask “Why him if there are plenty of other boys around you?” Girls must acknowledge their opinion, but girlfriends must always remember that they are dating the man, not the uniform.

 

 

 

Fight Off Expectations In Relationships With Appreciation

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It all started with long night phone conversations, the hourly update on each other and were inseparable most of the time. Just like any romantic relationship, this is how ours started. It was all pure bliss and excitement. Everything seems to be okay. We feel nothing but love for each other, and everything in-between becomes indefinable. As long as what matters most was our happiness. It’s true what Meredith Hansen, PsyD wrote – “Healthy adult love exists when both partners are emotionally interdependent; meaning that both partners love one another, care for one another, desire physical closeness with one another, but respect each other enough to have their own identities as well.”

That time, everything was ideal- from celebrating important occasions to going on a movie date, attending Sunday Church and visiting families. Indeed, it was a perfect match made in heaven.

However, life has its way of testing the waters. What seems to be an ideal relationship became the opposite of everything. As our relationship went on, things have changed gradually. The world that we made exclusively for each other slowly fell apart; until one day we realized that we were already living life out of that world and could no longer recognize each other as to how we were before. That time, we decided to let go of each other so as not to cause further pain and frustrations.

“As much as a new love can pare bad habits, it might cut away some good qualities, too. New research suggests that sometimes being in a romantic partnership means losing favorable aspects of the self.” – Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D.

Time Heals And Teaches

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Three years in a relationship have come a long way for me to realize everything, at first it was all regret consuming my entire being – asking myself why it has to end, why beautiful things never last. Acceptance and moving on were tough battles, but I had to hold myself together for I can no longer afford to feel broken again. I am grateful for the gift of time for it has allowed me to accept the truth, feel the pain and pick up myself again, the time has healed me. I experienced the emotional torture day by day until the remorse I have been nurturing for entirely some time has turned into a realization of what has transpired from my failed relationship.

It was the expectations that ruined our relationship, i.e., expecting things would never change and hoping more of what is given in the relationship such as time. Unmet expectations heated up frustrations that led to constant misunderstandings, which eventually ended the relationship.

If only…..

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It was too late to recognize that, if only I appreciated his efforts of making time for me out of his busy schedule, maybe I would not have demanded more of his time. If only I have come to appreciate myself with all the care and love I have given him, maybe I would not see myself inadequate and incapable of loving him. Lastly, if we only tried to appreciate everything in our relationship especially on how much we decided to save our relationship, maybe we could have salvaged it. However, we were both consumed by our expectations with each other that it made us hard to appreciate both our efforts as we try to fight for our relationship, we end up fighting against each other. I know it was too late now; nonetheless, I am still thankful that I have come to realize what went wrong with my past relationship, for this will be the lesson I am bringing as long as I live.

Moreover, if fate permits that I may find myself falling in love again, at least I have now in me the key to having a lasting relationship, and that is appreciation. Because appreciation teaches us to become satisfied with what is given to us. Appreciating your partner’s effort to fetch you despite arriving late is better instead of ranting over why he was late. “Appreciation matters. Those who express appreciation with their partner are more committed to them and more likely to stay in the relationship,” says Ryan M. Niemiec PsyD. 

Feeling thankful for a quick lunch out because of a tight schedule rather than not having lunch together. These are just some of the little things that when appreciated will make each other see the efforts being made for the relationship. Expectations will fade away when appreciation glues the relationship.

Sharing Appreciation Online: A Different Way Of Counseling

Man, by nature is good. This philosophical view reminds us that no matter how bad a person is, there is still goodness that resides within, it only needs to be triggered so that it will rise against the negative emotions. Everything is a matter of how we perceive life in general. Most of the time, a person who has a negative perception of life is consumed by hatred and dissatisfaction, and these negative attributes are the results of ungratefulness. Most of the time, it is hard to get into the core of someone who is filled with negativity, thus as much as we want to help, it would be hard for someone to accept verbal counseling. Nevertheless, there are still different ways of making someone realize his attitudes, one of which is sharing personal experiences about appreciation and will enable that person to achieve some crucial points in life.

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The Attitude Of Gratitude

Positive psychology proposes that the attitude of gratefulness is one of the ways in attaining happiness in life. The premise of showing gratitude in everything we have makes us happy is indeed a proven fact. Cultivating appreciation in our hearts and keeping it as part of our routine diminishes the negativity that we may encounter along the way. Dr. Jo Wolthusen, PsyD wrote, “Someone who is living a life full of gratitude appears to be having the radiating happiness that can be contagious.”

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Sharing Is Caring

Happiness can be contagious, so is gratefulness. A person with a grateful heart knows the value of sharing promotes happiness as well. Also, a grateful person is very eager to share with the world how gratefulness can help us in finding joy and contentment in life. Dan Mager, MSW, agrees, stating that “grateful people are generally more helpful, generous of spirit, and compassionate. These qualities often spill over onto others.”

If you are an appreciative person, you would only wish that everyone can realize the value of showing appreciation is the key to becoming satisfied with whatever we have.

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Finding ways to share how gratitude changed our lives is now easily brought about by the wonders of digital technology and the internet. We have now the ability to broadcast the many blessing we receive and the good things that are happening in our lives online. Through social media platforms, we can post daily affirmations and share with other people who follow us our experiences. By doing so, we become instruments of change as we can influence others who have forgotten to cultivate appreciation in their lives which makes them unhappy and contributes to their dissatisfaction.

Also, we become a virtual counsel for those who are having a hard time accepting the principle behind gratefulness equals happiness. This is the perfect way of exchanging experiences in life that have taught us to become better. Stories of appreciation found online are a good source of healing from bitterness and negativity in life. 

Final Words

For people who are still holding on to their pride that they do not want to open personally, reading stories of gratefulness online enables them to let go of their arrogance and embrace the reality that behind their failures is the ungratefulness they have been keeping since then. Only then, they will experience pure bliss because there is no more harmful attitude that is holding them back. 

“Gratitude, in the most basic terms, is being thankful and appreciative of the good things you have,” says Sheela Raja, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in the Colleges of Medicine and Dentistry at the University of Illinois at Chicago. 

Helping others through our little ways is already a product of gratitude because a grateful heart is also a cheerful supporter and sincere giver. If only all of us will learn to live with appreciation and celebrate the victories and failures in life, then none of them will believe life has punished them because of the challenges they are having.    

 

 

 

Why We Have Our Therapists To Thank For Our Well-Being

Whether helping the people in need is part of their self-actualization goals, or they want that particular career path, being a therapist isn’t exactly for everyone. It’s in our nature as humans to have a hard time coping with our feelings and solving our behavior problems. It’s hard, but a therapist does that for a living!

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Do you think you could do their work – to be on the other end of when a person is seeking help? What if you give the wrong advice? What if your words won’t make them better? Helping people to change for the better can be a burden on someone, and it takes an extraordinary person to do that. “While some therapists do specialize in severe emotional disturbances—including schizophrenia or suicidal thoughts—many focus on simply helping clients work through far more typical, everyday challenges like mapping out a career change, improving parenting skills, strengthening stress management skills, or navigating a divorce,” says Suzanne Gelb Ph.D.

Therapists are awesome! Here’s why we have them to thank for our well-being:

They Help Us To Become Brave And Honest

Therapy may not be appealing to other people. But even if it’s quite intimidating, and scary at times, having a meaningful takeaway after every session is an understatement. Therapists don’t always share their personal experiences. However, they surely understand your feelings and do their best to make sure you feel better. They listen with their hearts, as you pour out your thoughts and feelings to them. ” Listening and empathy skills are the hallmarks of good communicators, leaders, and therapists,” wrote Diana Raab Ph.D. A simple ‘Thank You’ letter after a fact of therapy is always welcome.

They Help Us Deal With Our Strong Feelings

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Some people need guidance in dealing with somewhat difficult feelings. Sally High, LMHC, says, “I help my clients overcome issues keeping them caught in unhealthy and destructive patterns that no longer serve a purpose. I am eager to help you and feel honored to assist in this journey. There are good therapist and then there are transforming therapist.”

For example, there are those teenagers who feel very shy or uncomfortable at school. Maybe it’s the transition from a different school to another, but the shyness gets in the way of making friends. A therapist helps by giving advice and encouraging you to act on your problem using the right direction. In some major cases, a patient may be feeling dangerous pent-up anger for a family member, or friend, and is getting aggressive and violent. Therapists help calm down and make the patient see reason. They acknowledge the difficult emotions and teach you positive ways to react. Again, not an easy feat.

They Help Us Enjoy Life More

When someone is busy, stressed, and depressed – that person seems to have the weight of the world on his or her shoulders. Therapists remind and encourage you to look for the positive things in life when you can’t see it. They point in the direction of where you should go and explain how it can make life worthwhile.

They Teach You That It’s Okay To Ask Help

One of the many myths of therapy is that “it doesn’t work.” In fact, some people think it’s a waste of time and money. You can read books and many online articles, keep the problems to your own, or try and solve them. It will be hard. Some people feel as if they can take on everything when they can ask for help. Professionally certified therapists are experts in how humans process thoughts and emotions. They’re often your “mind coach.”

They Strive To Make Your Future Bright

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There’s a common misconception that going to therapy means it would need to go on forever. That’s false. Therapy is temporary, but its effects are what’s long-lasting. Therapists help you work your stuff while teaching you the tools on how you could handle future “incidents.” The positive gains “continue and grow over time” as some of the work gets further consolidated after taking therapy.

 

 

 

Military Men On Appraising Stress – How To Cope

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It is said that the way people manage their stress depends on how they see the situation. Lazarus and Folkman’s Psychological Stress and Coping Theory explains how humans have two ways of appraisals: the primary and the secondary. (Military men who have been exposed to traumatic events are assisted in this area.) 

Primary Appraisal 

In this, the person will perceive the stressor and its relevance. If they feel like it’s not relevant, then they will not pay attention to it. However, if it is, then they will see it as a threat. “When we’re stressed, our body is stressed in the moment,” says Debra Kissen, Ph.D.

Secondary Appraisal 

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People who use this, on the other hand, ask themselves whether they can cope with the stressor. When it comes to the death of a loved one, most of the time the answer here is no. 

People who grieve may often think that they can’t cope with all the grief, frustration, and negative feelings, or the peak in the roller coaster. They feel helpless but since the ride isn’t done yet what other choice do they have than to bear with it, right? 

Coping With Stress 

Military men, like most people, cope with their stress disorders in different ways. The ideal way is to deal with it in a healthy way, but there will be people who cope with stress negatively. 

Some of the negative ways of coping may include: 

  • Giving up 
  • Blaming others 
  • Physically harming others like striking out 
  • Addiction (to gambling, alcohol, drugs, and the likes) 
  • Avoiding interaction 
  • Isolation 

Stress shouldn’t be ignored either. It is connected to a multitude of health problems like heart diseases, diabetes, headaches, migraine, and mental illnesses like depression and panic disorder. It would be good to seek help before the stress levels reach this point. 

William R. Klemm Ph.D. says, “People are constantly exposed to stressful situations. These may be physical, like participating in marathons or developing an illness. But stress can also be mental, wherein we become anxious and worried over certain events, existing or anticipated.” 

One of the ways to do that is by healthily coping with stress. Here are some ideas on how you can do that: 

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  • Write in a journal about your anxieties, stress triggers, and emotions. 
  • Avoid these triggers. 
  • Learn your limits. 
  • Cut off toxic people who only give you more stress and problems. 
  • Drop activities and tasks that aren’t needed. 
  • Don’t bottle in your feelings. 
  • Look at things more positively. 
  • Always be grateful. 
  • Don’t dwell on the things that you can’t control. 
  • Understand your emotions to know why you’re stuck in them. 
  • Count to ten so that irrational anger or situations won’t overwhelm you. 
  • Do breathing exercises. 
  • Call a friend or family member and talk to them. 
  • Have a balanced and healthy diet. 
  • Learn how to manage your anxiety
  • Get up and moving and do some exercise. 
  • Ask for help. 
  • Reduce, avoid, or stop substance use. 
  • Make time for doing something that you enjoy. 
  • Have adequate rest. 
  • Do meditation techniques. 
  • Practice yoga. 
  • Try new things and do your hobbies. 
  • Get a to-do list. 
  • Take it slow. 
  • Don’t force yourself. 
  • Be happy and laugh. 
  • Cherish every achievement and progress you do. 
  • Get a pet. 
  • Take some time off from gadgets and the internet. 
  • Know when to get help and how to accept help. 

“Before you can deal with stress, you need to recognize that you’re actually stressed out, which isn’t always obvious. In order for me to de-stress, I need to acknowledge my stress-state in the first place,” says John Duffy, a clinical psychologist. 

Nobody is saying it will be a smooth ride. The whole idea here is for you to understand that stress is manageable. It will take a lot of effort and willpower to overcome this mental health issue, more so if it is associated with grief and trauma. But it can be done. 

How To Add Meaning To Your Life With Club Activities

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Depression and anxiety are seen to be extremely common in school and college students. Trapped between being treated as a teenager and being expected to behave like an adult, these individuals may start feeling unappreciated and alone. “Depression and anxiety are like flip sides of the same coin, says therapist Nancy B. Irwin, PsyD. “Being depressed often makes us anxious, and anxiety often makes us depressed.”

Moreover, the idea that no one cares or that life has no purpose can also be emotionally damaging for them. Hence, it is important for them to find new ways of adding meaning to life; joining a school club or group can be the first step towards it.  According to Eric R. Maisel Ph.D., “We experience emotional distress in all sorts of ways – as sadness, anxiety, addictions, unproductive obsessions, unwanted compulsions, repetitive self-sabotaging behaviors, physical ailments, boredom, and various angry, bleak, and agitated moods.”

What Do School Clubs Do?

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School clubs are basically similar to an organization or entity created by a group of school students supporting a certain cause or purpose. One can find a vast range of club with different activities in a school. Students can choose to join a music club, a group of writers or perhaps people campaigning for environmental protection. Each school club engages in various activities ranging from sports events, fundraising bake sales and even exposure trips.

How can club activities add meaning to your life?

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  1. Social interaction

Club activities can place one in close exposure to people sharing similar passions, providing great opportunities to talk to someone about one’s interests. The right kind of social interaction also allows one to grow not only as an emotionally strong person but an intellectual one as well. Psychologist Susan Pinker stated, “Direct person-to-person contact triggers parts of our nervous system that release a “cocktail” of neurotransmitters tasked with regulating our response to stress and anxiety.

 

Furthermore, participating in school club activities will allow one to make new friends and interact with like-minded people. This socializing is extremely important for realizing one is not alone in this world and there are others who also have alike beliefs. 

  1. Pursuing your passion

For someone who wants to join the basketball team or perhaps become an environmental lawyer, a school club can be a great place to start figuring out what one wants to do in life. It can also provide you with the opportunity of realizing your hobbies into something more worthwhile and productive. Organizing tree plantations or cleanliness campaigns can help you understand what you might experience in a certain field or career.

  1. Stepping into the real world

Most school students hear their parents and teachers tell them about how hard practical or real life is. School club activities are a great way to get a taste of their reality. As students or youngsters, one may not realize the complexity of the outside world and may even feel overwhelmed when exposed to it after student life ends. Hence, school clubs which operate in a fairly similar manner to small businesses, provide students a chance to test their aptitude and skills, as well as also figure out what they are best in doing. 

  1. Supporting a cause

Almost all school clubs have a designated goal that the members plan on achieving every year. Whether it is supporting the local basketball team or women’s rights, this cause can mean a lot to the members of the club; hence, mostly also being the reason for their membership. The club activities are also designed to support and ascend this aim further. Therefore, in most cases being part of these club activities can make one feel productive as well as valued.

  1. Healthy activity

Instead of wasting time on the internet binge-watching a random television series or perhaps engaging in dangerous behavior involving drug abuse and bullying, school clubs offer students a way of using their time learning new things. School club activities allow one to meet new people and question old ideas. It helps in building responsible individuals who have a sense of purpose and ambition in life. Plus, participation in school club activities also definitely looks good on their student profiles. 

 

 

Middle School Counseling

Middle school counseling? Yes, middle school counseling.

Middle school counseling
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Nowadays, as studies are becoming more demanding as well as competitive, middle schoolers need counseling to cope with this additional pressure. Middle school counseling might be an answer. 

Middle School Counseling Options for Mid Schoolers

To students, according to psychologist Richard Weissbourd, Today’s most “potent ingredient” is “achievement pressure”

— the pressure to excel across subjects and a wide range of extracurriculars in middle school, culminating in the stress of putting together an impeccable college admissions package.

Importance Of Dealing With The Issue Through Middle School Counseling

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It is pertinent both as a middle school administrator and a member of society to provide high school students with the mechanisms to cope with these mental health issues and school counseling programs are major options. The same goes for elementary school students. The first step to do so is creating support and awareness about youth issues both inside and outside of the middle school. 

Systematic school counseling program helps students developmental phase in an exciting yet challenging time during their peers’ relationship issues, academic achievement and education struggles, and other middle school challenges.

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Middle School Counseling

Every middle school must have a counseling professional who is an expert in his or her field. That’s because middle school counselors could help anxious students in various ways during their career development stage.

For instance, the foremost and most common way is conducting one-to-one counseling services with students to increase the development of a certain level of comfort with them and prepare them for different challenges, which allows the student to share their problems with the professional counselor. In addition to this, sometimes the problem a couple of students are facing is not due to academic or any other sort of academic-related problem, but the source of it stemming from home.

Middle School Counseling Awareness 

Learning skills for awareness campaigns are extremely important in creating mental health awareness in students. These campaigns could be carried out by different clubs and they could be more specific towards the goals of a certain middle school club or academy society. Other awareness campaigns can also be run by the sports club as well, however, they might be more focused and responsive on the mental health issues of student-athletes. 

Group Middle School Counseling

School counseling or online therapy resources can be a beneficial way of tackling several middle school issues simultaneously. School counseling allows students dealing with similar issues to be grouped, perhaps after middle school.  “For many people “group counseling can be more powerful and mutative than individual counseling,” according to Judye Hess, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist.

The aim of group counseling specifically for students may vary based on the issue under discussion. It must, however, be remembered that the sole focus of group counseling must not only be limited to settling individual problems but must also create and extend to building healthy relationships and communication amongst the students based on respect. Such a school counseling session is, therefore, really popular in dealing with students facing anger management issues.

Middle School Career Counsel 

Career services can be provided to students in middle schools as a whole, and even as part of different clubs and societies. He or she could hold therapy and participate with the middle schooler, helping students explore different options for their future. College admissions and career selection are a cause of anxiety amongst many students, hence making dealing with this issue through advising students pertinent on an academic level.

Middle School Counseling FAQs

What do guidance counselors implement?

What is the main role of the counselor in middle school?

What is the most important characteristic of a middle school counselor?

What should middle school counselors focus on?

What is the most challenging for a counselor?

What are some weaknesses of counselors?

What are the qualities of a good counselor?

Does every coun selor have to be part of a counseling association?

What Theory Do Most School Counselors Use?

What can you speak to middle school counselors about?

Can a middle school counselor diagnose?

How To Engage Your Club Members Effectively

Being a patron or the president of a school club comes with great responsibility. One does not only have to organize club events or plan fundraising activities for the club but also act as a leader, guiding other members of the club. According to Larina Kase, PsyD, “When we think of what makes someone a great leader, one characteristic that comes to mind is decisiveness. We do not envision successful leaders standing around appearing unclear and uncertain. Instead, we view them as people who are able to quickly arrive at their decisions and communicate the goals to others.”

Why Do Students Join School Clubs?

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It is important to understand the motivations behind a student joining a school club, before figuring out ways to engage them effectively in the club. It is believed that school students mostly only join multiple clubs and societies during high school just because they would look good on their profiles, and perhaps would help them get into good society. However, even though this might be the case many times, there are still many students who join a school club primarily because they are interested in the activities that specific club engages in. In addition to this, sometimes the cause that a school club is working towards may seem inspirational to the students, allowing them to become self-motivated volunteers for the club. Furthermore, sometimes school students join clubs in order to build social connections with other people and find someone to talk to about their mutual interest. 

Additionally, psychologist Susan Pinker wrote, “Direct person-to-person contact triggers parts of our nervous system that release a “cocktail” of neurotransmitters tasked with regulating our response to stress and anxiety.”

Ways To Effectively Engage Club Members

  1. Communication
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The key to a successful club or society resides in effective communication amongst its members. It is important that all members of the clubs have viable channels, such as the school club social media accounts, to express their opinions and issues to not only each other but those in the upper hierarchical levels of the club. Sometimes there is a huge communication gap between the president of the club and those who have recently joined the club that it leads to feelings of alienation amongst the latter. However, John M. Grohol, PsyD, wrote, “Two different people also have different levels of skill when it comes to communication. But better communication, because it is a skill, can also be learned.”

It is important that the leadership must interact with each other on a one-to-one level. A good way to do this is by planning excursion trips with all the club members. This will give them a chance to get to know each other in a non-work environment.

  1. Delegation 

For any organization to run effectively, the leader must delegate tasks to his or her subordinates. In the same manner, a school club president must delegate responsibilities to club members. This will not only help in reducing the burden on a very few but will also make all the club members more involved in the operations of the school club.

  1. Regular meetings
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Creating groups on WhatsApp or Slack is not the only way to interact with club members. It is important to hold regular club meetings, even if it is not for the entire club, people working in the same subdivision, or department, must meet regularly to discuss their goals and strategies. It is also a great way of ensuring that all the members are on the same page.

  1. An incentive system

School clubs may in many cases operate and function as normal businesses, however, the incentive system for both is inherently different. In the case of school clubs, students are not gaining any monetary benefit from their membership of the club; mostly many club members are only volunteering. Hence, the creation of a system that rewards club members for their work must be created in order to retain them for a longer time. The best way to do so is to invest in the personal and professional goals of your members. For instance, if it is a writers’ club writing training sessions can help those who are struggling. In addition to this, also ensure that their rights are met; this might even mean getting a better coach or counselor for your basketball team. 

Therefore, by following the aforementioned ways school clubs can engage their members in healthy social activities, retaining their membership for a good amount of time.

 

 

What Role Can Teachers Play In Helping Problematic Students

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In every class, there are a couple of students who seem to always break the momentum of class. They make it impossible for teachers to deliver their lectures and maintain class dynamics. The problematic students don’t always misbehave with the staff or their class fellows. Their behavior can be unsettling for you and the class. If you find a student who ignores what you say or makes funny noises in class then you must handle them carefully. Don’t dread having a problematic student enrolled in your class, in fact, look forward to their presence and how you can bring a change in their behavior as a teacher. 

“The student may be rude, disrespectful, disruptive, obnoxious, or otherwise annoying. It’s just human nature; some personalities clash. But instead of feeling guilty about our feelings, we can take positive steps to improve them,” says school psychologist and teacher Shelley Krapes.

It often happens that teachers try changing their teaching techniques. However, the behavior of difficult students remains the same. If you have had the privilege of teaching the naughty ones then you might already know how tricky it can be. “Teachers are getting overwhelmed with responsibilities,” says Ronald Palomares, Ph.D. “How much can they do at such a high level of expectation and still be successful?”

In order for you to figure out the actual reason behind this change, it is important that you closely look at their class activities. If there is the slightest possibility that your student might be suffering from a mental illness then you must guide them in the right direction. You can encourage them to join a depression chat room and try talking it out. Depression chat rooms are great for those who aren’t comfortable while talking. However, you can do the following in the meanwhile. If you want a controlled classroom with fewer disturbances then you can imply a few techniques to your teaching methods. 

  • Setting Things Straight
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Source: scholastic.com

At the beginning of a session you cannot directly imply which students are going to be a problem; however, you can ask around to be prepared. Once you get your student list, get in touch with their previous class teachers and inquire about their behaviors. Few names will automatically stand out; you will notice that the same names will pop up. These students are going to be the naughty ones so naturally controlling them is important to maintain discipline. So instead of discouraging them or belittling them, as a teacher, you must put your faith in them. Schedule individual meetings with the troubled students and tell them that you won’t judge them for their previous behavior. 

  • Be A Mentor

Usually, the most difficult students are a result of a difficult childhood or bad parenting. You cannot know why a kid is behaving in a certain manner. Sometimes kids are a victim of abuse and other times they are neglected by their parents completely. So, in order to get attention, they act out. It is important that teachers become role models for such students and help them out. Kids notice and then adapt to behaviors. Try talking to them and be more positive towards them. Encouragement and trust are two factors that have a great impact on a student’s progress. 

  • Connect 
http://www.jokesoftheday.net/jokes-archive/2016/05/30/A-teacher-is-teaching-a-class-.jpg
Source: jokesoftheday.net

If you are in a meeting with one of your students, then it is important that you make a connection with them. Talk to them about the time when you were in a similar situation and how you got out of it. Talk to them about their interests, dreams and encourage them to achieve them. Layout the possibility of joining good colleges in the future. Once you have developed a positive relationship with your students, you will be amazed at how quickly they will learn and open up to you. 

  • Constant Encouragement

As much as it is important to correct students when they are wrong, it is equally important to encourage them. Even if you see the smallest of improvements, make sure you encourage them. Write small notes for them encouraging them on their behavior, this will motivate them to perform better. 

As a teacher, you must always be prepared and expect the unexpected. Put your faith and trust in your students. It is important that you remain calm during your sessions and try to be as polite as possible. 

“The vast majority of teachers care deeply for and about their students. Yet by middle school, less than half of all students believe they would be missed by their teacher(s) if they didn’t come to school. Perhaps we need to be more demonstrative in showing the caring that is in our hearts.” – Dr. Allen Mendler, school psychologist. 

 

Five Great Fundraising Tips For Your School Club

Source: icebreakerideas.com

 

 We all at some point in our lives may have found ourselves associating with a school club or cause. It is not only a healthy social activity to engage in, but a way for us to express our passions and interests in a positive manner. Being part of a school club comes with a lot of new opportunities as well as enormous responsibilities. Amongst the latter is the responsibility of fundraising and gaining more support for your club. 

Why Join A School Club? 

Source: youngzine.org

In addition to looking good on our student profiles, a school club membership can be a great way of developing managerial and entrepreneurial skills. Many school clubs also operate in the same way as businesses do; sometimes they might even have similar organizational structures. In addition to this, activities like fundraising can be a good way of exercising one’s creative mind and finding new social contacts. In addition to this, being part of a school club will make one feel like a productive and valued member of society, instead of feeling unappreciated and alone.  

Fundraising Tips 

Source: planetgreenrecycle.com
Fundraising is important for the continuation of a club. It also aids in the success of the cause or the goal the members of the club are pursuing. Below is a list of five great fundraising tips one can follow to raise money and awareness about his or her school club. 
  1. Mobile-responsive donation forms 

You might have already created an online donation form for raising money for your school club, however, it is important that this donation form is mobile responsive. As almost everyone owns and uses a mobile device nowadays, it is one of the best ways of reaching a larger group of people. Being more mobile-responsive means that people do not have to constantly resize the donation form will accessing it through their mobile devices. Furthermore, each field especially the ‘donate here’ box must be easily visible and the text, as well as the images, must be lined vertically. 

2. Food sale 

Everyone loves a food sale and it does not even cost a lot. You can organize perhaps a bake sale day to raise money for your school club. You can stay traditional with cupcakes and brownies, or can even be more inventive by selling food that represents your cause. For instance, if the cause is about environmental protection perhaps tree-shaped biscuits or cupcakes with green icing would be a good idea. 

3. Sports event 

A sports event is a great way of engaging a lot of people in your locality. It can be open to not only school students but parents as well. You can charge a ticket for participation in the event or for viewing it; a lot of parents would love to come to watch basketball with their basketball enthusiast children. In addition to this, a sports event can also include obstacle races or food stalls. The profits can be contributed to the school club. A sports event would be a great way of publicizing your cause to a larger audience. 

4. Peer to Peer fundraising 

It is a common form of fundraising that almost all school clubs use. The idea is of creating a strong base of current supporters and donors. Each one of them is supposed to build their own donation page that links back to the club’s page. They must use their social influence by reaching out to more people on behalf of your school club. 

5. Write letters 

Letters can be a professional way of reaching prospective sponsors and donors. It is important for the school club and its cause are clearly introduced in the letter. It must not only be informative but should also have a personal and genuine touch to it. 

Therefore, follow the aforementioned tips and raise funds for your school club.