It is said that the way people manage their stress depends on how they see the situation. Lazarus and Folkman’s Psychological Stress and Coping Theory explains how humans have two ways of appraisals: the primary and the secondary. (Military men who have been exposed to traumatic events are assisted in this area.)
Primary Appraisal
In this, the person will perceive the stressor and its relevance. If they feel like it’s not relevant, then they will not pay attention to it. However, if it is, then they will see it as a threat. “When we’re stressed, our body is stressed in the moment,” says Debra Kissen, Ph.D.
Secondary Appraisal
People who use this, on the other hand, ask themselves whether they can cope with the stressor. When it comes to the death of a loved one, most of the time the answer here is no.
People who grieve may often think that they can’t cope with all the grief, frustration, and negative feelings, or the peak in the roller coaster. They feel helpless but since the ride isn’t done yet what other choice do they have than to bear with it, right?
Coping With Stress
Military men, like most people, cope with their stress disorders in different ways. The ideal way is to deal with it in a healthy way, but there will be people who cope with stress negatively.
Some of the negative ways of coping may include:
- Giving up
- Blaming others
- Physically harming others like striking out
- Addiction (to gambling, alcohol, drugs, and the likes)
- Avoiding interaction
- Isolation
Stress shouldn’t be ignored either. It is connected to a multitude of health problems like heart diseases, diabetes, headaches, migraine, and mental illnesses like depression and panic disorder. It would be good to seek help before the stress levels reach this point.
William R. Klemm Ph.D. says, “People are constantly exposed to stressful situations. These may be physical, like participating in marathons or developing an illness. But stress can also be mental, wherein we become anxious and worried over certain events, existing or anticipated.”
One of the ways to do that is by healthily coping with stress. Here are some ideas on how you can do that:
- Write in a journal about your anxieties, stress triggers, and emotions.
- Avoid these triggers.
- Learn your limits.
- Cut off toxic people who only give you more stress and problems.
- Drop activities and tasks that aren’t needed.
- Don’t bottle in your feelings.
- Look at things more positively.
- Always be grateful.
- Don’t dwell on the things that you can’t control.
- Understand your emotions to know why you’re stuck in them.
- Count to ten so that irrational anger or situations won’t overwhelm you.
- Do breathing exercises.
- Call a friend or family member and talk to them.
- Have a balanced and healthy diet.
- Learn how to manage your anxiety.
- Get up and moving and do some exercise.
- Ask for help.
- Reduce, avoid, or stop substance use.
- Make time for doing something that you enjoy.
- Have adequate rest.
- Do meditation techniques.
- Practice yoga.
- Try new things and do your hobbies.
- Get a to-do list.
- Take it slow.
- Don’t force yourself.
- Be happy and laugh.
- Cherish every achievement and progress you do.
- Get a pet.
- Take some time off from gadgets and the internet.
- Know when to get help and how to accept help.
“Before you can deal with stress, you need to recognize that you’re actually stressed out, which isn’t always obvious. In order for me to de-stress, I need to acknowledge my stress-state in the first place,” says John Duffy, a clinical psychologist.
Nobody is saying it will be a smooth ride. The whole idea here is for you to understand that stress is manageable. It will take a lot of effort and willpower to overcome this mental health issue, more so if it is associated with grief and trauma. But it can be done.