Operation Shower of Appreciation

 

“Let’s begin by clearing up something: Self-respect does not make you narcissistic or conceited or self-centered … in fact, it does quite the opposite. Self-respect is about amassing a deep sense of self-worth and self-love to show that you are worthy of receiving love and in turn, giving love.” – Danielle Dowling, PsyD. 

Since we were young, our parents taught us the value and importance of being grateful in life especially to the people who have been good to us. We learned that by being grateful, we become benevolent as well, for we know that in every appreciation we give, comes the feeling of happiness and fulfillment not just on the person we thank for but also to ourselves. We got used to appreciating every little thing in life regardless of how well or bad it is because we know that, everything happens for a reason and that we should still show kindness during adversities. Learning the importance of gratitude has helped us to embrace and live up its value; hence, we become grateful for everything, always. 

On the other hand, despite the fact of being grateful for everything that we have, we sometimes forget to appreciate one important person to be thankful for, and that is our self. We have the innate selflessness that enables us to put others’ well-being first, that is why with all the appreciation that we have for other people, we fail to appreciate our self. 

Start Within Yourself

Most of us see gratitude as something to be shared with others, except for our self, because we think that appreciating one’s self is already arrogant. Give yourself a short break for a while and try to be grateful for what you have become. Examine within yourself that you are thankful for the person that you came to be so that you can be a blessing to others as well. This way, you know your worth thus giving yourself importance. Be narcissistic for a while. You must remember that gratitude starts with you; hence you deserve to appreciate yourself for choosing and doing what is right.

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. says, “Self-value is more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value, including yourself than how you feel about yourself compared to others. It necessarily includes self-care.”

What Should You Thank Yourself For?

It is easy for us to recognize the things and people we are grateful for while we unnoticed the things we should thank our self for, like appreciating yourself for:

• Being thankful for everything
• Keeping up the faith amidst life’s adversities
• Returning kindness over cruelty
• Courage to let go
• Believing in love despite the pain
• Giving second chances
• Accepting things that are not meant for you
• Forgiving others and yourself
• Recognizing your mistakes

Just like how we appreciate and admire other people on how they overcome the challenges in their lives, we should also do the same to ourselves.  “Acknowledging and expressing genuine gratitude for what you appreciate in your life is a deeply kind act,” says psychotherapist Lea Seigen Shinraku. When you know how to appreciate yourself, you begin to discover your strengths and weaknesses, and this would help you improve yourself into becoming a better person. Self-appreciation is a way of recognizing self-worth, which enables you to realize that you are a human of substance, worthy to be loved and respected. 

Your relationship with yourself is as significant as your character. As they say, you cannot give what you do not have. You cannot learn to appreciate others if you do not know how to thank yourself. Do not be too hard on yourself, give yourself the reward that you deserve. Remember you are doing your very best to be the best version of yourself and that is already an achievement. Reward yourself with appreciation, celebrate your pain and triumphs and rejoice for better days to come. 

 

 

Becoming a parent is a privilege because not everyone can experience the joy and happiness of raising a child from becoming a better person. A source of pride, it is as well the most demanding and challenging responsibility that one can have. It takes courage and commitment to embrace the life of becoming a parent regardless of its nature. Living with this challenge is the part on how to raise children with positive values and the right attitude. “We want our children to be able to relate to other people’s feelings and to feel a sense of belonging in their classrooms and community,” says clinical psychologist Sheela Raja. “Cultivating a sense of gratefulness goes a long way toward this goal.”

Parents are expected to give out your best just to make sure that children will have a secure and successful life ahead. The society sees a child as a mere reflection of the kind of parents that a child has. Even if it’s not the main reason for the outcome of the child in later life, the role of the parents still has a significant factor. With this, your worth as a parent is determined on how you were able to rear your children of becoming who and what they are in life. 

When And How To Start?

Start Them Young.  The child’s brain is like a sponge. It absorbs everything that it encounters. By training them with good habits, they will embrace it and will eventually become a lifelong habit. Coupled with role modeling, this will be easy for them to follow the actions that they observe around them. Grab this opportunity to teach them the right skills in surviving life and to engage their young minds the value of gratitude. Giacomo Bono, Ph.D. wrote, “When parents tune into an infant’s needs and curiosities and satisfy the infant patiently with love, they’re planting the seeds for gratitude to grow.”

Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude. The sincerest thought comes from a child. It is like whatever a child has to say, it becomes heartfelt as always, because of the pureness of their heart. 

What one of the first things parents commonly teach their child is praying, and through this, parents start to teach their child to give thanks to the Heavenly Father. The phrase “thank you” is one of the sweetest phrases we could hear from a child. It brings a smile to our faces when they utter this two-word statement, and our heart swells with happiness. 

Teaching and showing your child what it means to say, “thank you” allows practicing gratefulness at an early age. This way, as the child grows up, he can show appreciation, not just with the material things but moreover the simple gestures and favors he gets from the people around him. In return, he will realize that showing gratitude makes people happy, a rewarding feeling for doing something right to others. According to Sarah Conway, a psychologist and mom, “The absolute best way to teach kids to be grateful, is to BE GRATEFUL. They will take their cues from you. So thank them often.”

With constant practice, the child will become accustomed to the importance of gratitude, the effect it brings to the people and the enthusiasm it gives into becoming a better version of oneself. Parenting is one tough job, but by embracing and appreciating the privilege it entails, you will never find any reason to quit. Instead, it will make you a better person, someone whom your child can look up to and be thankful because you have dedicated your life to bring them up with good hearts.

The rewards of practicing gratitude. Have you ever experienced opening the door to someone and not receiving a mere expression of gratitude?

Some people experience negativity in life where they feel that all the forces in the world are against them. All of us have gone through some point in our life wherein we feel like nothing good is happening or ever going to happen. This can be a phase that we are having especially if things don’t go as we like it to be – a failed exam, a breakup, loss in business prospects, or even a death of a loved one. As human as we are, we tend to bounce back and face the music. We like to meet the battle and conquer whatever struggles we are currently in. Nonetheless, some individuals cannot afford to handle these tragic situations, and they would resort to feelings of indifference, hopelessness, and helplessness.

Dissatisfaction Leads to Unhappiness 

Imagine waking up every day feeling upset and thinking that the world is being unfair to you.  This is the life of unhappy individuals. They feel like the world has given up on them and that they could no longer have the things they want, without noticing or appreciating the things that are already there. Psychologist Ryan Howes says, “Maybe the reason you feel so hopeless isn’t rooted in reality, but instead in a false narrative about your abilities or circumstances. Maybe you tell yourself that you don’t really deserve a raise or loving friends. Maybe you tell yourself that you’re not that smart or creative or capable.”

There is no satisfaction at all, as they keep on asking for the things they lack in life.  All these adverse predicaments engulf their positive outlook on life – always complaining about certain aspects.

Aside from dissatisfaction, these people also nurture feelings of ingratitude. Living a life of ingratitude hampers one from seeing the goodness in life; it limits the capacity of the heart to appreciate anything at all.  As a result, they find it hard within themselves to feel inner happiness and satisfaction in life.

Psychiatric Counseling Can Help

One way to seek help is to consult a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist to help determine the reasons for dissatisfaction, ingratitude, pessimism, and depression. Once known, the person is guided to undergo psychotherapy to help change his perspectives on life. Depending on the psychiatric evaluation, the person shall be given some medications to help regulate chemicals in the brain and control the emotional turmoil felt within. Similarly, they may allow you to get online counseling (try BetterHelp) in the beginning.

On a personal level, the change must come from within the person himself. The only way of overcoming this is a mighty change of heart, together with the assistance and support of family and friends. Their perception of life will gradually change as they start to see the goodness in life. The counsel and support that they receive from the people around them are vital in opposing the negativity that is influencing their mind and heart on not to appreciate what life has given them.

Final Words

Yes, it is true that many people recover from depression without taking medication. But that doesn’t mean that willpower alone is what got them there. Major depression, or clinical depression, is a problem with the neurochemistry of our brain not properly regulating our moods, and just willing yourself to feel better isn’t going to cut it,” explains Becky Howie, MA, LPC.

Counseling per se is an excellent way of making us realize that when ungratefulness consumes us, seeking advice or merely opening up about all the frustrations and challenges in life with someone we trust can help us appreciate the attitude of becoming grateful in life. 

“School” is the most important place for children, a place where they find out about themselves and their world, where they meet and learn from each other and from teachers, a place where they prepare themselves for the future.” – John Victor, Senior Clinical Psychologist. 

High school is challenging for almost every student. They are constantly exposed to external stimuli that are either too challenging or too big to be overcome. These are times when students are tempted to try things but often don’t either because of peer pressure or because of a lack of confidence. One such experiment is taking part in school clubs. For such students, it is always better to take part in a club. A lot of studies have shown that this group of people tends to become a support group when supposed strangers chat and talk about life on a daily basis.

It becomes easier to get through difficult times when you know that you aren’t the only one in this. Several issues such as depression and anxiety are common but students refrain from visiting an expert because mental illness is seen as a stigma in society.  “Just like any other symptom, said Amresh Shrivastava, MD, “when the stigma is left untreated it can cause serious damage to the brain, and even to the patient’s life. Relapse is more susceptible in patients with untreated stigma, and risk of suicide is increased.”

If you are a student and you feel that you need someone to talk to, the best option is to join a school club. If you are a club member or president and you are looking for ways to start functioning as a support group as well, then this is how you can function as both:

• Be Clear and Precise

Let your club members know that you are planning to start a support group. Run the idea through them and give them a plan of action. Once everyone is on board, proceed with the flyers and specify the kind of support group you plan on conducting. For instance, if your support group is for people battling depression, then state it clearly. Once people start flowing in explain to them what a support group means and how it functions. 

• Pick A Place

Pick a common spot and don’t change it. School spaces are ideal; you can schedule the meetings after school in a specific classroom. The idea is to pick a location that is easily accessible by all and free every time for a meeting. The problem with choosing a member’s home or yours is that the place might not be available all the time. 

• Schedule 

Schedule your meetings in a manner that suits everyone. You can schedule your meetings once a week at a specific time for an hour. One hour is the ideal duration for a support group meeting. Make sure you start and end on time so people take it seriously and the decorum is maintained. It doesn’t matter if people come in late or leave early; you should always start your meetings as per schedule. 

• Talk to your Therapist

It is important that you encourage the group members to visit a therapist and talk to someone about their routines and how well they are doing. Get some ideas from them as they are professionals and know better.  Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. wrote, “Therapy can help you ease your pain and create a healthier and more fulfilling life.”

• Keep an Anonymous Box 

Most people don’t do this but since it is a school support group, it is important that you leave a box for people to talk and express themselves anonymously. This is bound to encourage them to one day talk about their feelings openly once they see how well their anonymous emotions are being received by the other members of the group. 

• Refreshments

Ask your group members to take turns and provide for light refreshments. As this support group is for students, you can always pool in for the refreshments. 

• Create an Electronic Group

Make sure that everyone stays connected even if they aren’t at the meeting. Make a WhatsApp or Email group and involve everyone in it. This enables people to stay in touch even if no meeting is scheduled. They feel comfortable knowing they can always reach out whenever the need arises. 

• Leader

It is important that you assign a support group leader; this allows the group to function better and hold up the dynamics well. 

Sharing stories can be a little intimidating so it is important that you hire a certified therapist to attend the meetings for training and monitoring purposes. Sometimes, in case something is triggered in a member, control is imperative. 

 

 

When your kids get into preschool, they are more engrossed in play rather than learn, which is generally okay, since the first three years are designed to encourage kids to learn to play in groups and with different types of children. When they enter middle school they begin to tackle school and friends, and most often than not, they prefer talking and doing things with friends than study and learn. 

If you notice that your kids tend to be more passive towards their school work, encourage them to join something that will not only help hasten to learn but also enlighten them to do more activities that are geared towards the development, growth, and progress of the youth. School and community clubs are some of the best avenues for your kids to join. This will expose them to practices that will help them practice their social and leadership skills as well. 

Check out some of these recommended clubs that you can consider if you want your kid to join one.

Types of Clubs and What They Do

Book club. One of the most educational and enriching clubs that you would love your kids to join. There are activities that are designed to keep the kids and teens interested, such as group reading time and role-playing time, where they choose a book and perform it, assigning kids different roles. They can also be classified into groups and help each other read a more advanced book. This practices reading as well as team building skills. 

Career Club. Teens as early as 13 to 16 years old can join this group. Its aim is to help the children decide the career or vocation that they want to pursue. They are led by a teacher or an elder who discusses with them different careers that they can follow, and then the children are asked to talk about the career they’ve chosen and why. This way, they will learn how to decide at an early age which path they want to lead. Joining career clubs encourage children to appreciate their strengths and develop their weaknesses. 

Sports and Recreation Club. The United States has created several of these clubs that encompass teaching children positive eating habits and physical activities that develop their mind, body, and soul. They have sessions where they are taught how to prepare meals that are healthy and nutritious. They also engage in physical fitness and games that help them get moving and practice teamwork and friendly competition. Kids are also taught the value of cooperation and cultivate interpersonal and social skills. The Boys and Girls Clubs of America has created a number of sports and recreation clubs for kids of all ages. Some of these clubs are the Triple Play, Play Ball, and All-Stars. 

Childhood Bereavement Club. This club is not only for those who have lost their loved ones but also those who want to help and reach out to those who need comfort in their time of grief. Kids and teens need to develop a strong mental and emotional foundation to get through their feelings of grief, sadness, and depression. They may have anger problems that need to be attended to. Adult leaders guide these kids and teach them how to cope with these challenges. For teens that are initially hesitant to express, they are encouraged to read online blogs and articles that may push them to learn coping strategies.

 

Encouraging Kids and Teens to Learn Early

These and many other clubs are available for kids and teens that are in the stage of curiosity and independence. Clubs are a great way to pull your children towards the right direction and keep them away from the possible dangers of growing up.