Showing Love For Military Parents Amid Lockdown

The lockdown that persists in different states in the US is challenging not only for adults but also for kids. I am not even talking about the fact that they have been required to finish the school year by homeschooling. For sure, they do not mind staying at home and not getting up early every day. However, it may be troublesome for them to be inside the house 24/7 when their friends are not too far away.

No matter how much you want to go out, dear child, don’t do it. That is especially true if your mom or dad is in the military and serves as a front-line worker these days. Instead, show them your love through the following ways:

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Send Voice And Video Messages

The most basic way to express love for hardworking parents is by sending them voice and video messages. After all, a lot of military moms and dads may not be able to go home every day because of their duties. Some may even want to stay out of the house for as long as possible if they suspect themselves of having the coronavirus.

If the parents hear your voice or see your face, it can make them want to protect themselves further. This way, they can be with the family soon.

Help Prepare Delicious Meals For Them

Plenty of military parents who go to the bases in the United States tend to work alongside healthcare professionals. That is especially true for those who have a medical background. The others take turns operating the checkpoints and making sure that no one roams the streets.

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Assuming your at-home parent sends meals to your military mom or dad every day, why don’t you help prepare their meals? This task can be done even by toddlers, you know. You can do something as easy as spooning the dish into the container or decorating it in any way you please. In case you are old enough to hold a knife, you can chop the ingredients. After that, attach a little note on the food container to brighten your parent’s day.

Stop Fighting With Siblings

Sometimes, moms and dads become happy when they know that all the kids, young or old, are getting along. They may not need you to give them anything; you merely have to show them that you and your siblings are not fighting.

This technique is most useful if your parent has been deployed overseas. You cannot give them hot meals; they may be too busy to FaceTime with you. But if your stay-at-home mom or dad informs the military parent that you are not acting like cats and dogs, they will undoubtedly feel at ease.

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Stay At Home

Although your military parent may be giving their 110% at work, half of their mind may still be focused on your welfare. After all, the coronavirus is unforgiving when it comes to its victims. It is especially terrible for kids because their immune system may not be strong enough to fight the disease.

To keep your mom or dad from worrying, therefore, you should stay at home all the time. Do not sneak out to visit your friend’s house, even if it is only next door. Try not to insist on going to the nearby park, either. The quarantine will not last forever; just hang in there for yourself and your parents.

Final Thoughts

Now is not the best time to become a rebellious kid. Your mom and dad need you to be mentally and physically resilient right now, especially if one or both of them are in active duty. Show them how much you love them by doing the things mentioned above. Good luck!

How Parklets Changed Our Lives

In the 2017 Civic Organization Event, several innovations were recognized that have sustainable planning initiatives to communities. One of these innovations was increasing pedestrian experience through the installation of parklets. Parklets are small, inexpensive structures inspired by the guerilla installation during the international holiday “Park(ing) Day.” 

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Parklets aim to change the view and feel of the streets, making it more presentable to the people passing by. Besides that, there are other points about how parklets changed our lives.

Increased Economic Activity

Installation of parklets in front of a café or restaurant increases the economic activity in the area. Even with a small capital cost, parklets have shown to gain higher revenue in businesses because they attract people to visit the place and to stay longer. If more parklets are installed, there will be an increased potential for companies and an increase in job opportunities as well.

Added Color And Vibrancy To The Streets

Installing parklets is one of the excellent ways to utilize spaces. Parklets have become an attraction to pedestrians because of their mini-park design. It is especially true to cities that have become urban jungles. Also, parklets help encourage people to walk instead because they make the streets more beautiful and vibrant, such as adding greenery to the sidewalks and integrating art installation to the streets. Parklet installation is an excellent idea in increasing social interaction and building camaraderie with different people.

Engagement In Physical Activity

Parklets do not only boost attraction and increase public space; they provide health benefits to pedestrians as well. For instance, reports on the Middlesex Greenway state “that the greenway has helped to provide new fitness opportunities and increase physical activity among residents in neighboring communities.” 

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With a growing population, we cannot rely on businesses alone to provide communities enough public spaces. Also, parklets serve as a tool for cities to invest more on public programs that will be beneficial to everyone and not just the selected majority.

Surviving High School

People might have divided views of the high school experience. For some, it is loaded with enjoyments such as parties, concerts, elections, new influences, and new subjects among others, while the majority got the high school blues.  For Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D., “The beginning freshman experience can be a daunting one. I made my way through middle school and it wasn’t easy; but high school is like starting over, only tougher.” 

 One thing for sure, high school drains everyone’s energy either because of fun or academics. “Middle school is a gray zone—that difficult time when you don’t feel like you have the skills to handle the challenge of parenting,” says Patti Cancellier, education director for the Parent Encouragement Program. Having a lot of responsibility is associated with growing up, and high school is full of that, which also teaches one to become the person he is aiming to be. It may cause overloading of your senses, but through proper time management and prioritizing activities, it will become lighter and more enjoyable. Once a person masters the technique of handling high school years very well, he is ready enough to face the real world waiting outside.

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Whether the student is a freshmen year or final year in high school, the following tips will surely cover up all the necessary things to survive high school.

Have Your Locker

Nobody can predict what’s going to happen in a whole day’s stay at school, so it’s better to get prepared for any circumstance that can occur. Having a personal locker is a must and for every student to one’s saving grace for these unexpected situations. For example, girls must always have reserved sanitary napkins or tampons in their lockers so that they will not get anymore panic every time they will have their monthly period. It is also nice to store medicines for headaches, LBM, and other common sicknesses.

Join A Club And Be Active

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Choose a club that suits your interests and skills. Through this, a person can meet new friends and may find his identity. One must not stay away from other students because not all are bad influences. When there are competitions, debates, sports, and academics, students must go out of their comfort zones and try joining. Maybe by trying new things, a person can discover the hidden talents that he doesn’t realize he has. This is an excellent opportunity as well to meet new friends and widen your social network. Also, joining clubs and school organizations can further enhance your abilities because these are supervised by teachers and coaches who are specialized in their field of practice.

Study Well

It is okay to have fun most of the time, but it is important not to forget the real responsibility of students why they are sent to school. It can be an avenue, and a means for a person to fulfill their ambitions in life. Wasting time on unimportant things may cause a person to lose his goals in life. Remember that life is a competition and losers have no place in the world.

Choose Friends Wisely

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According to psychotherapist Amy Morin, “The company you keep says a lot about you, because your friends have a major influence on how you feel, think, and behave.” Friends define the identity of a person. As the saying goes, Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are. A person should maintain close connections with other students that will influence them to be better people and should keep distance to those who tend to drag people down and cause more harm. A lousy company may be tempting, but a good one is a real deal.

Think Positive

Everyone loves a person who always smiles. There is nothing wrong with being optimistic in life but also consider the other side of the coin. Not all people want to be a friend to somebody, so one must not worry about making everyone pleased. A person must respect the people surrounding him/her to receive the same in return.

Trust Yourself

When a person has confidence in talking and doing something, others may also believe in him/her. Do not imitate anyone, instead act who you are. If a person falls, he must stand and learn from his previous mistakes in life.

The joys of attending high school are beyond unbelievable. Make the most of this experience and keep right and loving memories as you complete the four years of secondary education.

 

 

Things To Consider Before Deciding To Become A Military Girlfriend

 

Michelle L. Kelly, Ph.D. writes a story about a woman who married a military man. “Staying in touch was hard, but they communicated via old-fashioned letters and packages,” she said. “She feels fortunate though because she had her own career goals. Her advice for young women and men dating military members is simple. Stay focused on your own goals.”

There are certain things in a relationship with a military man that is not found in any ordinary romantic relationships. Many girls have strong attractions to men in uniform, especially those in a military uniform. “Women prefer a partner who can protect them. It has been so since ancient times,” Dr. Geetanjali Sharma, a marriage and relationship counselor, was quoted as saying in the Times article. “It can be assumed that men in uniform are the modern-day ‘saviors’ and hence the attraction.” They tend to rush the dating process and look forward to marrying the man. Dating someone in the military is not a happily ever type of love story. In reality, these types of relationships break up a few months later because they don’t realize the challenge of work that both of them must endure staying together. 

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If a girl considers committing to a romantic relationship with a military man, there are several things that she must put in mind.

Their Job Is Their Priority

It is nothing personal because they must defend the country against many threats to the best of what they can do. Sometimes they will not be that informative of where they will go to their girlfriends must be patient enough in considering the nature of their work. Girls cannot expect to gain full attention and affection from their boyfriends and do not have the right to make them feel guilty about it.

No Communication For Most Of The Time

Every one of them will have to undergo at least Basic Training so there will be long periods that girls cannot interact with them. It requires more or less ten straight weeks that they are not allowed to have outside communication while they are in training. Phone calls may not always be the right means of interaction with their girlfriends, but they can write letters if they have free time. But for those having higher ranks, they have more privileges that include communicating with their loved ones compared to those in the lower positions.

Girls Will Feel Anxious And Stressful

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It is quite common especially if their boyfriends are deployed in an area where there is war. Girlfriends might receive calls that have bombs and guns in the background. What kind of girl will not freak out in this kind of situation? And as Jennifer Wider, M.D. told Women’s Health, “Stress can wreak havoc on a person’s body.” As much as possible, communication takes place when they are in the base or during a ceasefire. This way, they do not pose any anxiety to their girlfriends. During an encounter, they will not contact their girlfriends for weeks or months that will make the girls very anxious if there are boyfriends who are still alive.

Both May Plan To Get Married Soon

Because there are so many uncertainties that surround the nature of military jobs, they can find themselves making grown-up decisions faster than “ordinary couples.” Moving in, getting married and having kids might be the common topics among relationships involving military men. 

Traditions Are Not Observed

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Anniversaries, birthdays and other important life events are seldom celebrated in their relationships. So it is crucial for the girls to understand that their boyfriends might not be around in times that they must be present.

Girls May Be Judged Being Naïve Or Crazy

Other people may think that girls having a romantic relationship with military men are loony for getting into this world. They might ask “Why him if there are plenty of other boys around you?” Girls must acknowledge their opinion, but girlfriends must always remember that they are dating the man, not the uniform.

 

 

 

Fight Off Expectations In Relationships With Appreciation

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It all started with long night phone conversations, the hourly update on each other and were inseparable most of the time. Just like any romantic relationship, this is how ours started. It was all pure bliss and excitement. Everything seems to be okay. We feel nothing but love for each other, and everything in-between becomes indefinable. As long as what matters most was our happiness. It’s true what Meredith Hansen, PsyD wrote – “Healthy adult love exists when both partners are emotionally interdependent; meaning that both partners love one another, care for one another, desire physical closeness with one another, but respect each other enough to have their own identities as well.”

That time, everything was ideal- from celebrating important occasions to going on a movie date, attending Sunday Church and visiting families. Indeed, it was a perfect match made in heaven.

However, life has its way of testing the waters. What seems to be an ideal relationship became the opposite of everything. As our relationship went on, things have changed gradually. The world that we made exclusively for each other slowly fell apart; until one day we realized that we were already living life out of that world and could no longer recognize each other as to how we were before. That time, we decided to let go of each other so as not to cause further pain and frustrations.

“As much as a new love can pare bad habits, it might cut away some good qualities, too. New research suggests that sometimes being in a romantic partnership means losing favorable aspects of the self.” – Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D.

Time Heals And Teaches

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Three years in a relationship have come a long way for me to realize everything, at first it was all regret consuming my entire being – asking myself why it has to end, why beautiful things never last. Acceptance and moving on were tough battles, but I had to hold myself together for I can no longer afford to feel broken again. I am grateful for the gift of time for it has allowed me to accept the truth, feel the pain and pick up myself again, the time has healed me. I experienced the emotional torture day by day until the remorse I have been nurturing for entirely some time has turned into a realization of what has transpired from my failed relationship.

It was the expectations that ruined our relationship, i.e., expecting things would never change and hoping more of what is given in the relationship such as time. Unmet expectations heated up frustrations that led to constant misunderstandings, which eventually ended the relationship.

If only…..

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It was too late to recognize that, if only I appreciated his efforts of making time for me out of his busy schedule, maybe I would not have demanded more of his time. If only I have come to appreciate myself with all the care and love I have given him, maybe I would not see myself inadequate and incapable of loving him. Lastly, if we only tried to appreciate everything in our relationship especially on how much we decided to save our relationship, maybe we could have salvaged it. However, we were both consumed by our expectations with each other that it made us hard to appreciate both our efforts as we try to fight for our relationship, we end up fighting against each other. I know it was too late now; nonetheless, I am still thankful that I have come to realize what went wrong with my past relationship, for this will be the lesson I am bringing as long as I live.

Moreover, if fate permits that I may find myself falling in love again, at least I have now in me the key to having a lasting relationship, and that is appreciation. Because appreciation teaches us to become satisfied with what is given to us. Appreciating your partner’s effort to fetch you despite arriving late is better instead of ranting over why he was late. “Appreciation matters. Those who express appreciation with their partner are more committed to them and more likely to stay in the relationship,” says Ryan M. Niemiec PsyD. 

Feeling thankful for a quick lunch out because of a tight schedule rather than not having lunch together. These are just some of the little things that when appreciated will make each other see the efforts being made for the relationship. Expectations will fade away when appreciation glues the relationship.

Reward Yourself With Appreciation

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“Let’s begin by clearing up something: Self-respect does not make you narcissistic or conceited or self-centered … in fact, it does quite the opposite. Self-respect is about amassing a deep sense of self-worth and self-love to show that you are worthy of receiving love and in turn, giving love.” – Danielle Dowling, PsyD. 

Since we were young, our parents taught us the value and importance of being grateful in life especially to the people who have been good to us. We learned that by being grateful, we become benevolent as well, for we know that in every appreciation we give, comes the feeling of happiness and fulfillment not just on the person we thank for but also to ourselves. We got used to appreciating every little thing in life regardless of how well or bad it is because we know that, everything happens for a reason and that we should still show kindness during adversities. Learning the importance of gratitude has helped us to embrace and live up its value; hence, we become grateful for everything, always. 

On the other hand, despite the fact of being grateful for everything that we have, we sometimes forget to appreciate one important person to be thankful for, and that is our self. We have the innate selflessness that enables us to put others’ well-being first, that is why with all the appreciation that we have for other people, we fail to appreciate our self. 

Start Within Yourself

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Most of us see gratitude as something to be shared with others, except for our self, because we think that appreciating one’s self is already arrogant. Give yourself a short break for a while and try to be grateful for what you have become. Examine within yourself that you are thankful for the person that you came to be so that you can be a blessing to others as well. This way, you know your worth thus giving yourself importance. Be narcissistic for a while. You must remember that gratitude starts with you; hence you deserve to appreciate yourself for choosing and doing what is right.

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. says, “Self-value is more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value, including yourself than how you feel about yourself compared to others. It necessarily includes self-care.”

What Should You Thank Yourself For?

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It is easy for us to recognize the things and people we are grateful for while we unnoticed the things we should thank our self for, like appreciating yourself for:

  • Being thankful for everything
  • Keeping up the faith amidst life’s adversities
  • Returning kindness over cruelty
  • Courage to let go
  • Believing in love despite the pain
  • Giving second chances
  • Accepting things that are not meant for you
  • Forgiving others and yourself
  • Recognizing your mistakes

Just like how we appreciate and admire other people on how they overcome the challenges in their lives, we should also do the same to ourselves.  “Acknowledging and expressing genuine gratitude for what you appreciate in your life is a deeply kind act,” says psychotherapist Lea Seigen Shinraku. When you know how to appreciate yourself, you begin to discover your strengths and weaknesses, and this would help you improve yourself into becoming a better person. Self-appreciation is a way of recognizing self-worth, which enables you to realize that you are a human of substance, worthy to be loved and respected. 

Your relationship with yourself is as significant as your character. As they say, you cannot give what you do not have. You cannot learn to appreciate others if you do not know how to thank yourself. Do not be too hard on yourself, give yourself the reward that you deserve. Remember you are doing your very best to be the best version of yourself and that is already an achievement. Reward yourself with appreciation, celebrate your pain and triumphs and rejoice for better days to come. 

 

 

Gratitude Can Bring Out the Best in Your Child

Becoming a parent is a privilege because not everyone can experience the joy and happiness of raising a child from becoming a better person. A source of pride, it is as well the most demanding and challenging responsibility that one can have. It takes courage and commitment to embrace the life of becoming a parent regardless of its nature. Living with this challenge is the part on how to raise children with positive values and the right attitude. “We want our children to be able to relate to other people’s feelings and to feel a sense of belonging in their classrooms and community,” says clinical psychologist Sheela Raja. “Cultivating a sense of gratefulness goes a long way toward this goal.”

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Parents are expected to give out your best just to make sure that children will have a secure and successful life ahead. The society sees a child as a mere reflection of the kind of parents that a child has. Even if it’s not the main reason for the outcome of the child in later life, the role of the parents still has a significant factor. With this, your worth as a parent is determined on how you were able to rear your children of becoming who and what they are in life. 

When And How To Start?

Start Them Young.  The child’s brain is like a sponge. It absorbs everything that it encounters. By training them with good habits, they will embrace it and will eventually become a lifelong habit. Coupled with role modeling, this will be easy for them to follow the actions that they observe around them. Grab this opportunity to teach them the right skills in surviving life and to engage their young minds the value of gratitude. Giacomo Bono, Ph.D. wrote, “When parents tune into an infant’s needs and curiosities and satisfy the infant patiently with love, they’re planting the seeds for gratitude to grow.”

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Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude. The sincerest thought comes from a child. It is like whatever a child has to say, it becomes heartfelt as always, because of the pureness of their heart. 

What one of the first things parents commonly teach their child is praying, and through this, parents start to teach their child to give thanks to the Heavenly Father. The phrase “thank you” is one of the sweetest phrases we could hear from a child. It brings a smile to our faces when they utter this two-word statement, and our heart swells with happiness. 

Teaching and showing your child what it means to say, “thank you” allows practicing gratefulness at an early age. This way, as the child grows up, he can show appreciation, not just with the material things but moreover the simple gestures and favors he gets from the people around him. In return, he will realize that showing gratitude makes people happy, a rewarding feeling for doing something right to others. According to Sarah Conway, a psychologist and mom, “The absolute best way to teach kids to be grateful, is to BE GRATEFUL. They will take their cues from you. So thank them often.”

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With constant practice, the child will become accustomed to the importance of gratitude, the effect it brings to the people and the enthusiasm it gives into becoming a better version of oneself. Parenting is one tough job, but by embracing and appreciating the privilege it entails, you will never find any reason to quit. Instead, it will make you a better person, someone whom your child can look up to and be thankful because you have dedicated your life to bring them up with good hearts.

Sharing Appreciation Online: A Different Way Of Counseling

Man, by nature is good. This philosophical view reminds us that no matter how bad a person is, there is still goodness that resides within, it only needs to be triggered so that it will rise against the negative emotions. Everything is a matter of how we perceive life in general. Most of the time, a person who has a negative perception of life is consumed by hatred and dissatisfaction, and these negative attributes are the results of ungratefulness. Most of the time, it is hard to get into the core of someone who is filled with negativity, thus as much as we want to help, it would be hard for someone to accept verbal counseling. Nevertheless, there are still different ways of making someone realize his attitudes, one of which is sharing personal experiences about appreciation and will enable that person to achieve some crucial points in life.

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The Attitude Of Gratitude

Positive psychology proposes that the attitude of gratefulness is one of the ways in attaining happiness in life. The premise of showing gratitude in everything we have makes us happy is indeed a proven fact. Cultivating appreciation in our hearts and keeping it as part of our routine diminishes the negativity that we may encounter along the way. Dr. Jo Wolthusen, PsyD wrote, “Someone who is living a life full of gratitude appears to be having the radiating happiness that can be contagious.”

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Sharing Is Caring

Happiness can be contagious, so is gratefulness. A person with a grateful heart knows the value of sharing promotes happiness as well. Also, a grateful person is very eager to share with the world how gratefulness can help us in finding joy and contentment in life. Dan Mager, MSW, agrees, stating that “grateful people are generally more helpful, generous of spirit, and compassionate. These qualities often spill over onto others.”

If you are an appreciative person, you would only wish that everyone can realize the value of showing appreciation is the key to becoming satisfied with whatever we have.

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Finding ways to share how gratitude changed our lives is now easily brought about by the wonders of digital technology and the internet. We have now the ability to broadcast the many blessing we receive and the good things that are happening in our lives online. Through social media platforms, we can post daily affirmations and share with other people who follow us our experiences. By doing so, we become instruments of change as we can influence others who have forgotten to cultivate appreciation in their lives which makes them unhappy and contributes to their dissatisfaction.

Also, we become a virtual counsel for those who are having a hard time accepting the principle behind gratefulness equals happiness. This is the perfect way of exchanging experiences in life that have taught us to become better. Stories of appreciation found online are a good source of healing from bitterness and negativity in life. 

Final Words

For people who are still holding on to their pride that they do not want to open personally, reading stories of gratefulness online enables them to let go of their arrogance and embrace the reality that behind their failures is the ungratefulness they have been keeping since then. Only then, they will experience pure bliss because there is no more harmful attitude that is holding them back. 

“Gratitude, in the most basic terms, is being thankful and appreciative of the good things you have,” says Sheela Raja, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in the Colleges of Medicine and Dentistry at the University of Illinois at Chicago. 

Helping others through our little ways is already a product of gratitude because a grateful heart is also a cheerful supporter and sincere giver. If only all of us will learn to live with appreciation and celebrate the victories and failures in life, then none of them will believe life has punished them because of the challenges they are having.    

 

 

 

Want To Be Happy? Practice Thank You Therapy

Have you experienced opening the door to someone and not receiving a mere “thank you”? Or helping someone carry their load yet no “thank you” was given? That’s the worst thing that can ever happen to your day. It’s just frustrating that some people don’t value gratitude anymore.

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Sonja Lyubomirsky Ph.D. says, “The lack of interest on gratitude or kindness is one of the reasons that these practices are so powerful in creating positive emotions and making people more satisfied with their lives.”

One of the ways of becoming happy is to practice the attitude of gratitude. By becoming thankful for all the things coming through, be it something right or not, we still should show appreciation because everything has its reason and purpose in our life bound to make us wiser and tougher as we continue to exist.

A thankful heart creates a definite aura of life. It radiates happiness and contentment to others as well. Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D. wrote, “Feeling and expressing gratitude turns our mental focus to the positive, which compensates for our brain’s natural tendency to focus on threats, worries, and negative aspects of life. As such, gratitude creates positive emotions, like joy, love, and contentment, which research shows can undo the grip of negative emotions like anxiety.”

However, some people think that the only things that we should be thankful for are the right things coming to us. The truth is, more than being disappointed with the mishaps of life, we should be grateful for these, too, because these are the life lessons and experiential learnings that can make us a better person.

Being Grateful

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Gratitude is the therapy of the human soul, a potion that can turn a bad day into a blissful one. If only all of us can learn to add the phrase “thank you” in all our triumphs and tribulations, then there would never be any reason for us to see life as challenging as it can be. The virtue of gratitude teaches us to see more than meets the eye; it is like seeing the beauty of a person despite his flaws and incapacities.

The Science of Gratitude

In positive psychology, the effect of expressing gratitude shows a tremendous change in the context of finding genuine happiness in life. For people who find it hard to see the goodness in everything, the therapeutic effect of saying “Thank you” is an excellent way of training the mind not to take things hard. As what others say, 10% of what is happening in our life is beyond our control, and 90% depends on how we take things and react to it. This means that we are in control of our reactions, and often we tend to be in a fury over 90% of what has transpired. 

In this case, “Thank you Therapy” might just save your day and spare you from having a bad day. Imposing this positive attitude is like spreading happiness all throughout. This attitude does not only provide benefits to the person doing it but instead, it also makes the other person happy. This is useful conditioning for those who have sensory issues.

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Final Words

Practicing gratitude enables us to see the rainbow in every storm. It lets us value everything in life, even the problems coming our way. Instead of worrying, we take every challenge as an opportunity to become better. These are two simple words that carry significant meaning. If practiced every day, it can emanate a positive vibe to each one, thus changing our perception.

“Instead, shift your focus and be mindful of the everyday things that you would miss if you didn’t have them. There’s always something for which to be grateful, even during difficult times.” – Cherie Dortch, clinical psychologist. 

Saying “thank you” can be an antidote for the lack of appreciation shown by others. The key to finding happiness through gratitude and contentment on whatever life may bring us can change each new day with optimism and positivity.   

Living With An Ungrateful Heart: Seeking Psychiatric Help

Some people experience negativity in life where they feel that all the forces in the world are against them. All of us have gone through some point in our life wherein we feel like nothing good is happening or ever going to happen. This can be a phase that we are having especially if things don’t go as we like it to be – a failed exam, a breakup, loss in business prospects, or even a death of a loved one. As human as we are, we tend to bounce back and face the music. We like to meet the battle and conquer whatever struggles we are currently in. Nonetheless, some individuals cannot afford to handle these tragic situations, and they would resort to feelings of indifference, hopelessness, and helplessness.

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Dissatisfaction Leads to Unhappiness 

Imagine waking up every day feeling upset and thinking that the world is being unfair to you.  This is the life of unhappy individuals. They feel like the world has given up on them and that they could no longer have the things they want, without noticing or appreciating the things that are already there. Psychologist Ryan Howes says, “Maybe the reason you feel so hopeless isn’t rooted in reality, but instead in a false narrative about your abilities or circumstances. Maybe you tell yourself that you don’t really deserve a raise or loving friends. Maybe you tell yourself that you’re not that smart or creative or capable.”

There is no satisfaction at all, as they keep on asking for the things they lack in life.  All these adverse predicaments engulf their positive outlook on life – always complaining about certain aspects.

Aside from dissatisfaction, these people also nurture feelings of ingratitude. Living a life of ingratitude hampers one from seeing the goodness in life; it limits the capacity of the heart to appreciate anything at all.  As a result, they find it hard within themselves to feel inner happiness and satisfaction in life.

Psychiatric Counseling Can Help

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It is not healthy for a person to continue living with this kind of outlook in life. Depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders can happen if the same emotional conflict is felt all throughout. And as Deborah Serani, PsyD says, “Depression is not a weakness of character, laziness, or a phase. Tough love, like telling someone to ‘buck up’ or ‘try harder,’ doesn’t work, and worsens the illness. Depression is a disorder that develops from environmental and biological issues that are unique to each person.”
Relationship with family, friends, and work can be affected as well as the person becomes distant, aggressive and belligerent in his dealings. It can alter one’s cognitive functioning as well which might lead to involving in an unfavorable situation that can compromise one’s safety.

One way to seek help is to consult a mental health professional such as a psychiatrist to help determine the reasons for dissatisfaction, ingratitude, pessimism, and depression. Once known, the person is guided to undergo psychotherapy to help change his perspectives on life. Depending on the psychiatric evaluation, the person shall be given some medications to help regulate chemicals in the brain and control the emotional turmoil felt within.

On a personal level, the change must come from within the person himself. The only way of overcoming this is a mighty change of heart, together with the assistance and support of family and friends. Their perception of life will gradually change as they start to see the goodness in life. The counsel and support that they receive from the people around them are vital in opposing the negativity that is influencing their mind and heart on not to appreciate what life has given them.

Final Words

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Yes, it is true that many people recover from depression without taking medication. But that doesn’t mean that willpower alone is what got them there. Major depression, or clinical depression, is a problem with the neurochemistry of our brain not properly regulating our moods, and just willing yourself to feel better isn’t going to cut it,” explains Becky Howie, MA, LPC.

Counseling per se is an excellent way of making us realize that when ungratefulness consumes us, seeking advice or merely opening up about all the frustrations and challenges in life with someone we trust can help us appreciate the attitude of becoming grateful in life.